We’re Soul Mates! But You’re Already Married?!

soul mate relationships

Lovers - Ismael Nery - courtesy of wikimedia commons

All of us long to meet our soul mate. A soul mate is another person who we feel so in tune with that when we are with them we feel complete. We have many relationships in our lives and sometimes we decide that we have met the right person although they are not our soul mate.

So why is it after meeting someone and being in relationship or getting married to them, out of the blue you meet your soul mate? Or sometimes, you are the single one and you meet your soul mate only to find out they are married! What does this mean?

There are people who have lived many lives together who are from the same soul group. These are a number of souls who tend to incarnate together in many different roles, lifetime after lifetime.

You may have waited for your soul mate for a while and then in the meantime, met someone (from your soul group) whom you fell in love with and wanted to be with. This doesn’t mean that this is the wrong person.

It means that this is the person who resonates with you at that time according to:

1. Your core belief system about yourself, other people, and the world
2. The Divine Plan – what you and the Creative Intelligent Force (God, the Universe, etc.) decide would be good for you to experience
3. Where you are in your growth as a spiritual being

Here you are on earth, going about your life believing that you need to take care of someone in order to feel needed. Let’s say that’s your primary core belief about you. Who are you going to attract?

Perhaps, as part of the Divine Plan of helping you to experience yourself so you can evolve, this is what you both agreed to at a soul level. So at this time, the person who is not necessarily your soul mate, but who is the person you chose on a conscious and soul level is the one in your life.

You may or may not be feeling satisfied with your relationship. But then your soul mate comes along and your emotions are all over the place. You are:

1. Incredibly attracted to them
2. Going crazy because you can’t seem to get them out of your head
3. Seeing all the things in them that you wish you had in your current relationship (even if your current relationship is fine – it will highlight things you wish you had with your current partner)
4. Wondering if you are with the wrong person and should be with your soul mate

However, keep in mind, your soul mate may not be at the same place of growth as you, may not be emotionally or physically available, and you may be in a perfectly good marriage or relationship.

So why did they show up now? My thinking is that it could be for a couple reasons. One is that you wanted to cross their path because you do resonate with them so much. It doesn’t mean that they are meant to stay in your life.

Think of your soul mate as a really great friend that you’ve known…well, forever. You both decide to come to a school called Earth along with a bunch of other friends.

Thing is, once you enroll, none of you remembers each other, or even your true self.

Your soul mate signs up for a different class than you. Because you know you won’t be seeing each other for a while, you say – “Hey, let’s meet on such and such a day and time.” And so it’s decided for you to meet.

Off you all go to school and forget. You are born, grow up, meet someone, get married, and then that particular day and time comes.

Hey! It’s your soul mate! Nice to see you but now you feel the connection and wonder why the circumstances are they way they are.

I also think that sometimes you touch each others’ lives to help you both grow further and clarify what it is you want to create in your life and relationships.

Soul mates do find each other, and some soul mates are in the right place in their lives that they end up in relationship with their soul mate while on earth. For others, there is some small comfort knowing that you are always connected to them on an energetic level and eventually, we will all be together again.

{ 54 comments… add one }

  • anonymous March 5, 2015, 5:51 am

    *UPDATE* Hi Willow!

    I am SOOO excited to report that I am finally moving this Sunday! We are both about to burst with joy! Now, I have been meaning to report that during my last visit my love became very ill. We spent many days/nights taking care of him. He does have a couple chronic health conditions which flared up pretty bad during that time period. It was very hard on him, physically and emotionally. I cared for him then, as I did when we were younger (he had these issues then as well). When I returned from my last visit, my love received some news from his doctor that he may have something more serious going on and needs more tests to diagnose. February was a very rough month for us, not being together and not knowing the state of his health. It was very intense. We finally broke through the fear, anger and depression of it all, and I am finally able to return to him. When I return we will first celebrate!!! and then take care of the medical tests (he has not wanted to do them without me there – which has been both frustrating but understandable, as he has been very scared). I have accepted the very real possibility that he is terminal and does not have a long time left (spent many many days/nights crying and pleading to God for me to take his place), but coming thru all of this as we have, we both clearly recognized and acknowledge that what’s most important is cherishing the time we have together! We are in this together every step of the way, for as long as we are both on this journey. I will report back as things progress.

  • adwoa March 29, 2015, 6:25 pm

    I need an advice, I met this man whom I think is my soul mate cos he makes me happy and I make him happy too but when I met him he told me he impregnated a lady who he’s married to know. He got married to the lady cos during the time she was pregnant she threatened to kill herself and the baby if he didn’t marry her so he had no choice than to marry her. Now he feels trapped and he’s not happy and any time he talks about this to me he crys. We click very well he’s in love with me and I am too. Now he wants to leave his wife. What should I do

  • karma1 April 13, 2015, 1:13 pm


    I was riveted by your story. Such a long time to wait to be together, & now you have another obstacle. I hope your love is well. Please give us an update, and know that you are in my prayers.

  • Deone April 17, 2015, 9:04 am

    I have always believed in the idea of a soul mate but never imagined I would come across mine. I was married for 12 yrs and from the moment I was about to say I do, I knew he wasn’t the one. I couldn’t see myself with him for the rest of my life but I knew he would be a good provider and father so I made the most of it. So now we have been divorced for 5yrs and we hv gone back and forth with the idea of getting back together. This past year I gave in and dated him again and we became engaged in January. I admit I only did it for our kids and there seemed to be no good men available to me. Well as quick as I said yes to marry him again the man of my dreams made his debut. I had a crush on this man from the first time I saw him 4yrs ago but never said anything to him. As time went on and I would see him around I would get such an anxious feeling wanting to talk to him. Well I finally had an opportunity to speak to him one on one and it took my breath away. I had no idea why I was feeling so crazy about this man I only knew in passing. We exchanged numbers and soon found out that he experienced the exact same thing. He told me that the first time he saw me it scared him because I was the girl from his dreams and he couldn’t believe I was real. The feeling of wanting to be together is overwhelming! Of course it’s not that simple. He’s married with 2 little ones and I’m engaged to my ex whom I hv 2 kids with as well. Once I knew that we both felt the same pull towards eachother I stopped all wedding plans and recently ended the relationship. We mostly text and talk on the phone because we were trying to respect his marriage but we had to know how it would feel to be alone together, to touch and kiss. We decided to meet and it was the most amazing feeling that I have ever felt. We just held eachother so tight and I could feel him breathing the same sigh of relief that I was. It was as if we had been together before and was finding eachother again. We talked and looked so deeply into eachothers eyes. We kissed and it was like putting 2 puzzle pieces together, everything was perfect. When it was time for him to leave it almost brought tears to my eyes. We contiued texting and admitted that we both knew we should be together. Every meeting after that was so intense and emotional that we couldn’t help but to take it to the next level. We were talking one night and professed our love and before we knew it we were making love. Everything about our time together was amazing! It hurts so bad to be away from him and know that he’s with someone else. He seems to know me better than I know myself. Our strong connection weighs heavy on us because of his situation. We know we are meant to be together but how could he just leave his family? I can’t be that reason. He says he isn’t happy with her but is reluctant to go because of the kids and I definitely understand. We discussed this a few days ago and told him I couldn’t be the other woman in his life and he agreed. He said he wouldn’t do that to me and couldn’t do it to himself either. So it seems he has a made up mind to be with me but there was no timeframe given. I don’t want to pressure him but I feel like we should try to stay away from eachother and stop communication until he has made that transition so that he knows for sure he’s doing it because he doesn’t want to be with her and not because he wants to be with me. I would feel horrible thinking I broke up a family. Of course our love is a secret and we can’t be out together publicly and even knowing that we can’t let go. This is such a tough position to be in. I never knew love like this was real! I pray our time comes but if he never leaves her at least I know that I found my one true love.

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