We’re Soul Mates! But You’re Already Married?!

soul mate relationships

Lovers - Ismael Nery - courtesy of wikimedia commons

All of us long to meet our soul mate. A soul mate is another person who we feel so in tune with that when we are with them we feel complete. We have many relationships in our lives and sometimes we decide that we have met the right person although they are not our soul mate. It’s important to think about how to know if someone is your soulmate.

So why is it after meeting someone and being in relationship or getting married to them, out of the blue you meet your soul mate? Or sometimes, you are the single one and you meet your soul mate only to find out they are married! What does this mean?

There are people who have lived many lives together who are from the same soul group. These are a number of souls who tend to incarnate together in many different roles, lifetime after lifetime.

You may have waited for your soul mate for a while and then in the meantime, met someone (from your soul group) whom you fell in love with and wanted to be with. This doesn’t mean that this is the wrong person.

It means that this is the person who resonates with you at that time according to:

1. Your core belief system about yourself, other people, and the world
2. The Divine Plan – what you and the Creative Intelligent Force (God, the Universe, etc.) decide would be good for you to experience
3. Where you are in your growth as a spiritual being

Here you are on earth, going about your life believing that you need to take care of someone in order to feel needed. Let’s say that’s your primary core belief about you. Who are you going to attract?

Perhaps, as part of the Divine Plan of helping you to experience yourself so you can evolve, this is what you both agreed to at a soul level. So at this time, the person who is not necessarily your soul mate, but who is the person you chose on a conscious and soul level is the one in your life.

You may or may not be feeling satisfied with your relationship. But then your soul mate comes along and your emotions are all over the place. You are:

1. Incredibly attracted to them
2. Going crazy because you can’t seem to get them out of your head
3. Seeing all the things in them that you wish you had in your current relationship (even if your current relationship is fine – it will highlight things you wish you had with your current partner)
4. Wondering if you are with the wrong person and should be with your soul mate

However, keep in mind, your soul mate may not be at the same place of growth as you, may not be emotionally or physically available, and you may be in a perfectly good marriage or relationship.

So why did they show up now? My thinking is that it could be for a couple reasons. One is that you wanted to cross their path because you do resonate with them so much. It doesn’t mean that they are meant to stay in your life.

Think of your soul mate as a really great friend that you’ve known…well, forever. You both decide to come to a school called Earth along with a bunch of other friends.

Thing is, once you enroll, none of you remembers each other, or even your true self.

Your soul mate signs up for a different class than you. Because you know you won’t be seeing each other for a while, you say – “Hey, let’s meet on such and such a day and time.” And so it’s decided for you to meet.

Off you all go to school and forget. You are born, grow up, meet someone, get married, and then that particular day and time comes.

Hey! It’s your soul mate! Nice to see you but now you feel the connection and wonder why the circumstances are they way they are.

I also think that sometimes you touch each others’ lives to help you both grow further and clarify what it is you want to create in your life and relationships.

Soul mates do find each other, and some soul mates are in the right place in their lives that they end up in relationship with their soul mate while on earth. For others, there is some small comfort knowing that you are always connected to them on an energetic level and eventually, we will all be together again.

I hope you enjoyed this article! If so, please share:

Selina Khan, Toronto Psychic Medium and Reiki Master
About the Author: Selina Khan

I’m a Psychic Medium and Reiki Master serving Toronto, Oakville, and worldwide. I help spiritual seekers & open-minded people get clarity, find meaning, and develop their own intuitive abilities so they can live up to their true spiritual potential and life purpose.

Looking for clarity in your relationships, career or health, or want to reconnect with loved ones who have passed? Get a Psychic Reading or a Mediumship Session with Selina Khan today!

  • admin July 6, 2012, 4:03 am

    Yes it is very likely that you were together in a past life. And probably more than one. Interesting that you two chose two different spiritual paths in this lifetime. Circumstances can not hide a strong connection at the soul level.

  • carol ryan July 5, 2012, 11:59 pm

    I am so interested in this article because what you said truly describe my recent experience and I am wondering if this man was my husband in a past life because we both feel like we were together before spiritually he is pagan and I am a Christian but we both so drawn to each other , he is married but I am single he lives in th US and I am In Canada . Is like you were talking about me in this article

  • maria April 1, 2013, 5:22 am

    My soul-mate hates me, but i love her.

  • Lynn April 17, 2013, 7:37 am

    My soulmate… A man of whom I share a mutually resonate connection with on an absolutely majestic level. We met 4 years ago and within the first 5 minutes we had both recognized there was a profound connection deeper and more kindred than either of us had ever encountered– almost as if we had a reocurring partnership from a past life.

    Our morals, values, and kinship is so mutually intense it’s as if we were lovers our whole life. Not only are we best friends, but we are interdependently engulfed in an incredibly deep true love— as true as true love can be.

    It reminds me of my only direct experience of witnessing real true love– my grandparents.

    It’s a women’s dream and nightmare simultaneously…the man who has my heart and soul is married– but not to his soulmate, but for feasible reasoning; a promise to his father (who was soon to pass) & because his (now) wife was pregnant with there son at the time.

    I know there is no way to convince myself this is morally/socially right– but we both believe in our hearts it is, and we were a gift from above to have each other.

    I Love this man with all my heart, I only the best for him. I’m beyond demoralized… we both whole heartedly believe we are soul mates and would be able to love each other so deeply through eternity.. But when I look at their four year old my emotions become increasingly distressed with thought of breaking HIS family.

    I never believed you should get married for the sole reason of pregnancy– but since its the current reality I’m emotionally dealing with and his son is my primary concern I ache.

    Where we are at today…
    Last month my true love and I had a week long traveling business trip together, the first time we have had a week of non interrupted quality time; I live half way across the country. Our love was so real it was impossible to hide it.

    The sentiments of my conscience get more and more overwhelming everyday— staying in there home living in there life. I would never put myself through the grevious heartache if I didn’t know with every part of my being it was real. His son whispered in my ear today he loved me. Is it wrong that I loath to one day be this sweet little boys stepmother?

    I need help from an outside non-biased perspective. I can’t even confide in my closest friends because by just understanding the surface situation and not physically feeling my passion one would not be able to give me the right advice… Especially if they’ve never been in this position. I’m a ball of intensity– I’ve never felt so much love and distress in my life.

    I minored in psych in college, Ive always understood how my mentality works, I’ve always been in control of my emotions… Until now…

  • admin April 20, 2013, 3:22 am

    Such a difficult situation! I agree, an outside non-biased person can help. Perhaps it would be good to seek a counsellor. They can help you come to a decision on what is best. It would do no good for me or another to tell you what is “right” for you. This is something that you need to decide for yourself – take responsibility for that decision – and know in your heart you did the right thing.

  • Pomy April 29, 2013, 12:38 pm

    I also resonated with this. I met my soulmate two years ago. I was already in a relationship with a good person, and am engaged to be married. Wishing to honour the commitments I had already made, my soulmate who is single and I agreed not to see each other. We have since had two episodes of contact, and each time it is extremely intense. I don’t even have to see him, as he is always there in my mind, and it is like we are communicating even when we don’t see each other. Strangely, I get an intense burning sensation in my right ear, and have subsequently found out that at those times he has been talking a lot about me with his friends, or thinking about me. Neither of us can let this go. We both have the almost irrational belief that we will, and are meant to be together. I’m a very logical person and none of this “makes sense.” but deep down we both feel it and disclosed that we both felt it instantly. It really does feel like I already knew him when I met him. Lynn – I empathise with you. It is crazy, overwhelming and difficult. I can tell you have a conscience and do not wish to hurt anyone. I hope that you get the outcome that you and the others involved need.

  • Will May 18, 2013, 6:10 pm

    Im in a situation where I am married to a woman who truely lo ves me. We’ve been together for ten years and married for five. Before we got together ten years ago I was with my true soul mate. At that time we were wild and young but mad about each other. After being together for a while, I gey scared to death for the feelings im having for her and I duck and run. Only because I loved her and didnt want to risk ruining what we had because of my way of life at that time. Long story short, after ten years with this wonderful women, “POOF” she appears again. And these past ten years, she crossed my mind at least once a week and I always wished I would have stayed with her but always figured I would never see her again. And now here she is. And the emotions and feelings begin to overflow and I cant control them. As of right now im a hot mess!!!! We have had
    a few times to hang out and talk recently and its la dream!!! We are lost in each other. So, the other night I laid my feelings all out on the table and I told her I was still in love with her. I told her I dont want her to feel pressured at all by this at alland to take her time to see ho0w she felt. I didnt make it out of the room before she said I have always felt that way about you. She is my soul mate and thats where my heart lies and where it has always been. So now I have to figure out how to break this to my wife as gentle as possible and when I leave my whole family will turn their backs on me. But she is without a doubt my soulmate. She feels so sad for the things im gonna have to do to be with her and she understands that I love my wife and I never would wish this upon her. I love my wife but im madly in love with my soul mate. And shes who I want and she wants me. She is supporting me throughall of this! Im pretty sure I cant coue with my wife when my heart is with someone else. And it hurts me to know that this is going to hurt my wife. I ve asked for sign and prayed for signs that this is the right decision. All signs have been presrnted. I think I would stupid to not pursue this. My soul mate told me she was ready to ride or die withme. And

    she is dead serious!!! She and I truly believe this was no fluke!!! So, my question is what is the gentlist way to handle this /how do I break this to my wife?way that will hurt the leastpplpuppy


    I just have to say it. I told her to take a few days, weeks, months

    the most perfect feeling I’ve
    ever felt inside of me!!! Like a dream almost. So, last night, after a week of turmoil, crying fits, emotional distress, I go to there to lay it all on the table

  • Will May 18, 2013, 9:42 pm

    Any advice would greatly help me!!! Anyone please!!

  • admin May 22, 2013, 4:20 am

    I see you have already decided to leave your wife and that you are wanting to know how to talk to her so that it minimizes the amount of emotional pain she will feel. There is no easy way to let someone know that you have decided to end a relationship.

    I strongly suggest that you seek counselling for yourself to help you through this transition. An outside source of support will help you keep yourself grounded and clear while your emotions are all over the place.

    There is a lot of advice on the web about how to break up with someone you love. This is a straight-forward website that you may want to look at: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8340/the-angry-therapist-how-to-break-up-with-someone.html

    I have no affiliation with this site or the therapist. He just says it well.

    I hope it helps.

  • Delvedeni February 28, 2014, 2:39 pm

    I am going thru the same exact thing Lynn! And Will’s issue is the same of my soulmate. The only thing is I push him away because he’s married and he doesn’t want to hear of it! He wants me and he wants to stay with his wife! My heart aches after I see him and I long to be with him! I know exactly what he wants,his smell is familiar and I drown in his eyes in a sea of love and it’s so mystical! I get butterflies in my stomach even if I’m angry with him. I love him so much but I’m afraid to break up his family and hurt his little girl. Help! I falling for him more and more each day! We decided to stop talking,we did,a month passed and that was it we can’t get enough of each other. My heart can’t take anymore heart ache. I know he is the one but I push him away for the sake of his family but he seems unhappy and incomplete. What should I really pursue? His happiness or his fidelity?

  • admin March 1, 2014, 2:31 am

    Hello Delvendi,

    Sometimes it can be hard to see what’s best when your emotions are so intense. I notice that you ask if you should pursue his happiness or his fidelity. What about your happiness and fidelity? Would you really be content in a relationship where you are not the number one priority of your partner? He has already told you that he wants to stay with his wife. Would you also be content knowing that there is another family that he shares his time with and that they know nothing about his secret life? These are questions that only you can answer. What is best for you?

    With kind regards,

  • Marie March 11, 2014, 12:16 am

    I met my possible soulmate (both of us are married), darn it about 9 months ago. I have gone through a spiritual growth lately after a temporary separation because the pain was so bad when he was upset with me for saying how positive I think he is.
    Such a strong connection from a lot of joys to some lows, back to some joys now. Hoping the painful part is behind us now. I’m hoping for some better times. He is my calm when things are going well, and an unspoken connection is there for sure. I haven’t experienced it before, so many uncertainties which I just put those fears and give them to God.

  • sam March 13, 2014, 10:05 pm

    I have met my soulmate thanks to god. I dont think i can ever feel so comfortable with anyone like i do with him. We are both not married but we are facing many problems in our family. We are both frm same religion but we have great cultural and language differences. I feel if my family isnt happy about my marriage i wont feel happy and will b guilty tht i didnt lissen to thm. I cant decide if i should go against them to b with my soul mate or marry the guy they want me to marry. If i do what they want thn im so scared to death of missingg my partner and regreting my decision. Pleasee help me in this situation. Im in such confusion.
    I belong to eastern culture where marriage is taken very seriously and these decisions are not made only on emotional connections but many different levels of the two families getting along.
    Please help me in this decision.

  • admin March 13, 2014, 10:45 pm

    Hi Sam,

    Glad you have met your soulmate and that you are both free to choose to be together. I understand the pressure you must be facing having a traditional family. It is fortunate for you in this instance that you are both from the same religion as I know that this can be a big problem given your family’s beliefs. This may be enough for them to agree with your choice.

    There are many things I could tell you, but I will only ask you to think about one. It is rare for people to meet their soulmate and be free to be with them. If you don’t approach your family about this, will you have regrets for the rest of your life and start to resent them?

    I do not minimize the difficulties that families can make. I do feel that in the end, it is your choice and one that you may want to approach your parents with before you make your final decision. There is no right or wrong choice here. Either way, please make a choice that you will be able to live with.

    All the best,

  • sam March 14, 2014, 2:26 pm

    Thanks Selina . I’ll definitely keep this question in mind and come with a solution.

  • Liz April 28, 2014, 2:53 am

    I have known this guy since highschool, but have known friends and family of his since age 7. Though we have drifted apart several times (sometimes for years) we always find eachother.
    I feel the most raw, irrational love and connection to him. I need him in my life. He on the other hand has always chosen someone else to be with. We have tried several times over the decades to be together, but he always wanted to see other people after a while. All the women he gets with with exception to a few, all look like me and are similar to me in almost every way. Except they don’t love him the way I do.
    He says he loves me and feels there is a reason we keep coming back to eachother but that we always try when he’s been hurt by another and he’s just not ready.
    I am engaged now and have two kids who love my Fiancee and he treats them like his own kids. I love him but Don’t feel as connected or “full” as when I’m around my soulmate.

  • admin April 29, 2014, 1:13 am

    Hi Liz,

    Thanks for sharing your experience with us. I’m sure there are many people who can relate to where you are right now. You are fortunate that you met you love, who loves you and your kids. Although it may not feel as “full” right now, if you decide to make this your intention, you will be able to create a fulfilling relationship with your partner.

    I wish you all the best,


  • Colleen May 6, 2014, 2:15 am

    I met my soul mate 2 years ago. In my case, we are both married, w/children – but not with each other. My mind is such a clutter, most times, that I feel like I can’t think or speak straight. We work together. We chose the same shift. We chose the same “off days”. I look forward to being with him every day. I miss him when we are apart. He brings a smile out in me that no one else can. He makes me laugh. I giggle when my coworkers call him my “work husband”. I love the jokes we share, the random texts, the general concern – I know I can tell him anything. Well almost, I’ve never mentioned how deeply I feel. I never want to cross the line, because we are married. But, I feel so deeply – it almost hurts. It drives me crazy. I can’t stop feeling the way I do. I never thought I would find someone that I feel is perfect. We share so much in common. I’ve never known a man (besides my own father) who is such a dedicated, honest and hard worker, so involved with their children and puts their needs in front of others.
    I suppose if my marriage was somewhat happy, I wouldn’t feel so drawn elsewhere?! But, it is what it is. At this time, we are married – to other people. Maybe in another life, our souls will be together.

    Thank you for this post, I don’t feel so crazy anymore for these feelings I just can’t explain (even at 36 yrs old).

  • admin May 6, 2014, 2:58 am

    Hi Colleen,

    Thank you for sharing this with us. You are right, it is what it is for this lifetime. It’s hard to imagine anything more than what we experience in this life, but this is really one moment in our experience of eternity. Eventually we will all be together again. Bless you for your wisdom.

    Take care,

  • Milk May 15, 2014, 2:57 am

    This really touches me as I met my soulmate all of a sudden and we work together for 3 years now. He is from a different county and already married with 2 kids.

    We click on almost every aspects and we work amazingly together. I feel very much comfortable around him and I love seeing him and talking to him. It is a deep level of connection and it comes from deep inside, something more powerful than love or crush. I though made it clear when things were to step in different direction, that he is just an amazing friend. [ not directly just while he is trying to express his feelings, I was returning it with how appreciative I am to be his friend. ]

    It actually hurts as I love him very much but I know I would never step in someone’s life or look at another woman husband. I am trying now to enjoy our time together as much as I can though he is on a distance time and is keeping himself away from me after I corrected the direction of his feelings.

    It truly sucks and I wish it happened differently but yea, I have to accept it as it is .

  • I blue August 14, 2014, 11:25 pm

    I met my soul mate many years ago. The time we met being 5years older than the guy was a no no. He was forced to call things off but at the time I thought it was his decision so I was totally broken and so was he. He went his way and I went mines. I married (13yrs) and had two beautiful children. He’s been in several relationships and one nearly killed him and now he’s a week out from being married and I am divorced. 5 years ago our connection drew us back to one another and it was like our conversations never ended our working together just brought us closer. We support one another spiritually and emotionally. Our communication is amazing. The connection between us is so powerful that we smile when we don’t realize it and we try so hard to fight it but everyone sees it. My kids have grown to really like him in our lives but now it’s time to say goodbye because he wants to be married. I want a chance to live the rest of my life with him but he also says he’s happy with her and scared with me. He chooses happy over love because he says it feel like he’s out of controls and that’s too much like right. Yes we have gone to some lengths that we shouldn’t have but right now all I can do is sit back and let him have his happy even though I’m crying once again. They say God’s delays are not God’s denials. But I know it too late, because within 3days there will be another delay and I just don’t believe anything afterwards is meant to be. Are Some soul mates just meant to cross paths?

  • Selina August 15, 2014, 8:16 am


    Such a long time to wait to connect again and such difficult circumstances! Yes, I believe that some soul mates are meant to cross paths. Unfortunately, we are not all given the opportunity to share a life with our soul mates, even if we do cross paths. Perhaps it is not meant to be for the two of you as there are other people in your future that you will connect with. Meaningful relationships happen when your heart is open. Maybe this gentleman showed back up in your life to show you that you can open your heart again and that it was not meant to be for the two of you to be together.

    With kindness and blessings,

  • Jane Doe September 2, 2014, 8:35 am

    My husband is not nor has ever been my soul mate, and our relationship was rocky for quite a while. Four months ago, I started working with a fellow in an organization, and am deeply attracted to him. We have shared hundreds of e-mails about things that really matter to me, things my husband could care less about. I am not sure where this is going, but I am pretty sure that if he initiates a relationship, I won’t be able to deny it. At the same time, my husband has suddenly become nice to me again. I am very torn over this.

  • hiebknsoul September 2, 2014, 8:48 pm

    Last year I met soulmate after having been with my fiance for 7 years…. I truly love my fiance but we were already having issues, when I met my soul mate. It was instant … I knew for a fact that I knew this man , had loved this man mb in a different life. The connection was so strong and I am thankful that we got a couple months together. As you mentioned above we we not in the same growth period and we couldn’t stay together. I love him so deeply it hurts to know I may not be with him until another life… it sometimes feels like im living a life that doesnt belong to me without him here to live it with me. The man im engaged to is a a wonderful man and we too have a great connection… he makes me happy as well but I know he is not my soulmate. I actually told him we would meet again in another life and I hoped to be able to love him fully next time.my soulmates father recently passed and he reached out… I wanted so badly to be there for him but all I could offer were words and nothing else. Does it ever happen ? Do you ever meet at the perfect time? I feel like a lifetime with him would be such a gift I may not yet deserve.

  • Selina September 2, 2014, 10:40 pm


    Thanks for sharing this with. Perhaps what this man gave you is just what you needed in the moment and you can value the time you had together for that in addition to the connection you feel. If everything happens for a reason, which I am a believer in, then your two months together is what was meant to be – at least for this lifetime. Although rare, soul mates do meet and can be together without obstacles. I am glad to hear that you are now with a man that makes you happy, even if you do not connect with him as a soulmate. Honour the gifts and learnings your soulmate gave you, and know that we all meet again when we are on the other side. Until then, your spirits will always be connected.

    All the best,

  • Selina September 2, 2014, 11:06 pm

    Hi Jane,

    Thanks for sharing this. I know it’s difficult and you must feel really conflicted. My question to you is have you thought about what kind of energy you are currently putting out into the universe? I’m not saying there is a right or wrong choice – you need to find your own inner truth. It’s up to you to make your choice. I caution you to be clear about what you really want. My suggestion to you is to seek counselling so you understand what you want.

    With blessings,

  • jennifer September 6, 2014, 3:52 am

    I found out my soulmate is my cousin is that wrong that we both feel the same way for each other.We just miss each other like crazy .

  • mel September 10, 2014, 11:12 am

    My soul mate knows I am his soul mate. I know he’s mine. We are both He loved me openly in our youth stalked me to my door and I loved him at first sight.. we kissed once during our favorite movie.. which neither of us knew it was till it was on.. I ran. Out of fear he was too perfect for me too soon. Fast fwd 20 yes. He is really in love with his 3rd wife. I am okay with my husband of 15 yrs. Yet, We gravitated toward each other once every few yrs. Just to check in.. recently we tried to connect nothing happened but holding hands but we talked about it a lot. He got caught talking to me. Neither of us are cheaters though. It was a draw. An integral desire to see each other. We tried too soon and caused pain for 3.. He has shut me off for her. But I can still feel him. He hurts for three. I hurt for three. She hurts for two. My spouse does not know. It hurts. I wonder if our time will ever come this time round. I miss him. Even as a friend. I miss him.

  • Shirley September 11, 2014, 5:26 am

    This happened to me as well. The funny thing is that we don t contact each other cause he is married and lives on the other side of the world. When we use to see each other we used to stare at each and ignore all around us, unbelievable. My soul is graving for him
    I wanted to ask does he feel same like I do cause he haunt my thoughts:( Is there a way spiritually that I can contact him and make him contact me

  • Selina September 18, 2014, 12:03 am

    Hi Jennifer,

    In some cultures, being with a cousin is accepted and in others it is not. Is this something that would be accepted by your families and if it isn’t, would you be willing to live with possible consequences of that? Do you have someone in the family you trust or a spiritual leader you can speak to privately?


  • experiencing a mystifying love September 20, 2014, 2:45 am

    Reading every post from these sisters and brothers who share mirroring circumstances that I am experiencing is remarkable. During my 36 years on earth, I had always known that my soul mate was out there, but figured that amongst the billions of people that reside on earth, that coming into contact with my soul mate would be impossible or other wise only be by divine intervention. The day I met my soul mate was one of the most mystical and out of body experiences I have ever felt. I had landed a new job at a local University in which, for some time, had a notion that I should explore opportunities there. The day in question, I had entered the universite’s cafeteria, during lunch time, and immediately felt a strong attraction to a presence of a man I had never physically met. I did not allow myself to look at him directly because I could not understand why my senses had reacted so strongly, simply by entering the room with this person. He was there with his daughter and nephews, getting them a bite to eat, and I remember asking myself, he must be married and he has three kids, ….snap out of it!!! About a week later, while coming back from the restroom, I found him sitting in my office waiting on me. He had a baseball cap on his head and he had his head down as if he was in deep thought. At first I did not know that was him and I jokingly said to him, “Are you looking for me?” He looked up at me and smiled, and I turned bright red and was completely out of breath. I could tell he was flattered by my uncontrolled response to his presence. Since that day he and I have been inseparable. We have a natural ability to show up in the same places at the same time at work, to the point where one would think we were stalking each other. We have become best friends to eachother and have both expressed our mutal love and soul mate connection, but there are a couple obstacles to us getting together. I have a son and have lived with his father for over 10 years. Although I loved my son’s dad and am happy to have met him for the sake of my son’s existance, I have never felt the type of pure love and deep connection as I do with the man I met at work. Not a day goes by that I am not thinking about him, or fantacizing about us getting married and having a blissful life together. But as much as we want each other, he contends that he will not be a home recker. He does not want to be the reason that my son’s father and I are not together. I respect that about him, and I also do not want to break up my son’s home, but I feel like I am cheating his dad out of getting his true love, because in my heart, where I really belong is with the man I met at the University. I wonder if I will always have this undying yearning from someone I may never be able to have.

  • Kisha September 21, 2014, 11:32 am

    Will, I understand! I was in a situation like that a year ago with my 1st love I still remember it like it was yesterday. I remember singing alyhia “One Million” to him when we were younger just like it was yesterday. I love my soul mate he is married, but I want him so bad. I don’t want no one else, I compare and contrast every guy I meet to him. I think about him all the time at least once a week, I want him to be happy overall. I will never get married if it’s not to him because I never loved a man like I loved him. I’ve lusted after others before but I never truly loved them, not even close. I can’t control my feelings and emotions about him. The connection is so real, I will always love him no matter what we go through and what different paths we take throughout life. I don’t regret us meeting up last year because I needed closure. I got closure but I still crave this man, my soul craves him. I feel him in my spirit it’s crazy but a true feeling.

  • Anna September 24, 2014, 5:17 am

    I am so grateful that I’ve found this site. I’ve been going out of my mind of what’s been happening to me and not being able to deal with it or share with anyone near to me without being judged. I’ve also met my soulmate three months ago. He was my Mom’s surgeon and the very moment our eyes met the very first time, I just knew it in my heart we are meant to be together. We had that incredible connection and I could see he was also experiencing it. He is the one I’m supposed to be with for the rest of my life. I don’t let people into my life very easily so this happening I knew the feelings are for real. All I’ve been feeling for him is real. Just one problem… he is married, I’m single. I’ve seen him four more times in person. Been talking, joking, laughing… and it all are just so natural. But my heart is breaking because I know he is married. He is in my thoughts and dreams day and night. I just don’t know how to cope with it all. He is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, but with him being married… He’s been brought over my path for a reason and I just wish I knew why.

  • Selina September 25, 2014, 3:14 am

    Hi Anna,

    Yes it’s difficult when one or both are not available and the question that everyone asks is “why?”. Why bring someone so perfect on your path if you can’t be with them.

    I know that every person in our lives shows us something about ourselves or teaches us something. Sometimes we are there more for them to show them or give them an opportunity to change and grow. But sometimes it’s because we love someone so much that we want them on our life path in some way, even if it means that they can’t be with us in a way we want. That may be because you need other people to experience what it is that you really need to learn. At least, that’s one way of looking at it.

    These are difficult circumstances. Do what you know is the right thing to do for you and that causes the least amount of harm for everyone.

    Be well,

  • Anna September 25, 2014, 4:58 am

    Thank you Selina, I really appreciate your reply. It’s been extremely difficult to deal with and it really helps a lot to talk to someone about this. Giving me more clarity. I hope in time I will get my answers.

    Keep well.

  • Brenda October 1, 2014, 12:21 am

    I meet a very nice man older guy with a kind heart.The attraction was overwhelming.I didn’t understand this feeling excitement.I confessed my feelings which was uncontrolabe he was uncomfortable.I found myself giving him gifts anything. for his expression ,a smile.I found out that he was married, heartbreaking.I never experience such a thrill.I think,dream,fatansize about him always
    I want him so bad.Can’t wait to see him daily.What a feeling.Backing off can’t happen,won’t. Crazy Brenda

  • renee October 13, 2014, 9:14 pm

    three months ago meet this man, was like we had known each other for yrs.. we see each other as often as possible, he is married… we can’t stop seeing each other. I tell him I feel like I’m messing with his head cuz he is married, and he tells me he feels like he’s holding me up from finding someone who can give me their all… I know he will never leave his children, some ways I want to be selfish and take what’s mine, but I can’t do that to any child.. the more we see each other, the more we want! I’m writing this to ask if anyone has experienced like a shock or electrical jolt while being intimate with their soulmate? Him and I both felt it while ummm.. releasing at the same time…

  • renee October 13, 2014, 9:30 pm

    It wouldn’t let me continue…but… we have both searched the internet in regards to this shock/jolt… I’ve never experienced anything like it, nor he… this isn’t just a fling.. he loves me, Ilove him.. if he didn’t have children, it would be very different.. Itold him Ilove and want only him… I’m kinda hoping in a twisted way he gets caught… we drive toward each other to meet in the middle just to kiss, talk and hold each other for an hour or two.. Icant walk away from him.. he’s my home, my missing piece.. his soon Ifairly young and he says man, wish he was older so Icould run away and marry u now… Ijoke with him and say men have had mistresses or multiple wives since the beginning of time! Its only in the last century that’s its frowned upon! Lol we are both older and know that this is the real deal.. he was father less growing up and Iknow he will never leave his children by choice.. and I love him more for that! He’s now trying to figure out a way so Ican work with him… lol Iknow! I’m rambling… he’s just so amazing! Makes my heart skip a beat and smile when I think of him, which, of course is all the time! Thanks for listening to my rambles…obviously, can’t really talk to anyone else about this..have confided in my best friend…she tellls me to go for it…iwas single for 8yrs before I met him…I’m not physically repulsive by any means, just every date Iwent on there was something missing, and I’m not one to waste my time or someone elses! I’ve always had great intuition, I n tell just in the first few seconds of meeting someone if they are a nice person or something is just wrong about them… literally saved my life once!

  • Muntu October 22, 2014, 9:36 pm

    I met this guy in a very awkward situation but the minute he saw me he sad he knew i was the one ,and asked for my numbers .A month later it felt like we knew each other for ever and he is married but always asks where i have been all his life .He is married with kids .The connection we have is out of this world ,he can feel if something is wrong with me without me telling him ,i can also sense if he is not feeling ok without me hearing it from him.We cannot stay away from each other and can talk about anything .I’ve been married before but have never felt this magical connection with any man before and it scares me sometimes.He always says he has finally met someone he has been looking for all his life and wants a way out of his marriage but i know i will not be happy with him knowing im the cause of the breaking of the marriage and deep down i know he will never leave his wife.ive tried breaking up with him but he got so sad and almost lost his mind and i couldnt bear being separated from him and i told myself i will try and accomodate his marriage even if it kills me seeing him going back to the wife .But im at the point where i cannot live without him and cannot bear seeing him going home in such a way that he will talk to me on the phone on his way back until he reached home and we would talk on bbm until he falls asleep.but this is so painfull and i still want to break it off but i cant

  • Selina October 23, 2014, 12:21 am

    Hi Muntu,

    It is difficult to stay in such an emotional situation where there is no growth and much stress. If you want to break this off and feel that you need support to get through this, then I suggest that you find a good therapist that can help you.

    All the best,

  • Garnet November 8, 2014, 5:32 am

    I met my soulmate alittle over than a year ago. For months I had such a steong magnetic attraction to him and couldn’t comprehend why…he remained a mystery for a while….didn’t know his name, who he was, but I was so infatuated and I had the feeling he was feeling the same way about me. There was a time he had disappeared for a while and during his absence I began to dream atleast once a week with him….my dreams always showed the same scenario…the both of us amongst a crowd of people and always interlocking eyes with each other and knew to escape from the crowd and know where to meet up…and when we would find each other, we would hug each other and knew we belonged together…..all these dreams still without even knowing his name. Then finally he re-appeared back into.my.life and i took the chance of breaking the ice. Come to find out he was married…but that didnt get in the way of us….overtime one thing led to another and we became inseperable. Everything he is and everything we did are what my dreams depicted and became reality… I had broken things off with him once for six months because of the circimstances becoming overwhelming, but I could feel that he was still thinking about me and the dreams would start up again showing me that he was going to be coming back into my life and it did happen….We really cant bear losing each other and still continue to see each other and still feels like magic….we hug, we love, we feel…we dont need words…its crazy….I just wish we didnt have to be in hiding and I wish for no one to get hurt….people say we are living a life of sin…but how can something so beautiful be sin…thats my story and I still don’t know what to do….

  • anonymous December 3, 2014, 3:44 pm

    Hello All, ***WARNING: THIS IS A LONG STORY***

    So, I have a similar story to share about meeting/being with a soul mate. Firstly, I do not believe that we have only one soul mate. However, I have only ever had one soul mate so far in this lifetime.

    To begin, I think it was early adolescence when I started dreaming/fantasizing about this “dream” person. You know, I was really young, and I would just get flashes in my mind about them, like out of nowhere. It’s been so long now I can barely remember specifics other than the feelings and slightly physical features…

    Anyway, fast forward to high school years. I transferred schools mid-sophomore year… started getting involved in activities and encountered this one person. I briefly admired them from afar, like a mad crush filled with mystery and uncertainty as well. Not too long, maybe a week, after I initially saw this person, a new friend of mine (who considered herself the match-maker type) asked if I was interested in anyone. I could hardly get the words out to tell her… but she knew who I was referring to. I really didn’t think anything of it; I basically thought, there is no chance in hell this person would like me because they are like a dream, not real. Then the first really crazy thing happened.. She returned the very next day with a note and revealed to me that when she asked him if he knew of me, he grabbed his heart and said “I LOVE her. She is my dream girl!”. When she told me this I was in complete shock. I did not know what to do with myself.

    PHASE 1: Anyway, he was currently dating someone but quickly ended the relationship when he was confronted by the mutual friend. There was actually another experience right within this timeframe, right before he ended the relationship with this other person, where we were both part of a large school activity..although we didn’t know it until all of sudden we came upon each other. He was standing with his then-girlfriend and as soon as we recognized each other, he stumbled back away from her with a huge smile on his face. Oh my God, I can still remember the intense emotions of that moment. Anyway, we ended up together, madly in love. I mean crazy love. We had this beautiful friendship. We would help each other grow in such personal ways and get lost in each others’s eyes. There was a deep connection between us on a physical, emotional and mental level…even though we had differences about us, we helped each other grow and fell more and more in love. We spent every possible moment together. People were mystified and touched by our relationship…It was very powerful, indeed. Then the shocker came after about a year of “dating” (which for us, consisted of getting rides to places, being chained to the rotary telephone for hours/sleeping on the phone, and even the occasional sleep over – awesome!!)… but his mother and stepfather made a decision to move across the country. It was completely devastating to both of us. He reacted with such rage towards his family and begged them for the remaining months not to do it. As the time got closer, I reluctantly accepted it as fate, and told him it was what he had to do and that he’d be better off. He did not accept that and ended up moving to his father’s house which caused him to change schools. He did not have a good relationship with his father, so this was a huge undertaking for him. During this brief period, we could not see each other very much, although he did “run away” from his dad’s and stay with me and my family for a couple days. A little while past and then the communication became less frequent. I of course was concerned, first that something bad had happened to him, then I found out from his friend that he was dating someone else. Of course I was appalled. Quickly he contacted me and told me he was moving to go be with his mother and family. There were so many emotions flying…I fell to the floor in despair. I couldn’t bare to bring up the other girl. I cant even remember what I said. It was over.

    PHASE 2: Fast forward.. I continued to be in love with him in my own heart. I did not date. I had no interest in anyone. I was in deep depression. I dreamed about the day I would see him again. Randomly at places I would hope to meet him. Then close the end of senior year, we bump into each other as he was randomly “visiting” the school from out of town. It was deadlock stare again, at first, not sure to smile or walk away. We tried to say hello and it was a horrible mess. We were very awkward and unkind to each other… there was just generally a lot of tension and heart ache (definitely on my end I know). Then it was over again.

    PHASE 3: Fast forward again… I continued to think about him all the time, still searching for him in other people (a replacement of sorts)… After high school, throughout our 20’s, he would contact me about every two years to “check-in”… it was still all awkward with this sort of passive-aggressive energy. I would get butterflies in my stomach every time he’d call, but then as soon as we’d start conversing it would quickly turn into this weird thing where we would make fun of eachother…much like the initial encounter after we broke up. I was so upset with myself for still being in love with him. I could hardly stand to talk to him. Why was he calling me, I would ask myself. It was torture, yet I still longed for him… He continued to call every two years… year 4 I told him I was dating someone, who he proceeded to make fun of and to which I proceeded to make fun of him per usual… year 6 I became pregnant (unplanned), and had to make the decision to tell him when he called… it was the worst moment of my life, worse than the initial break up. He proceeded to stutter and ask probably 5 to 6 times if I was sure, or to repeat it, and say stuff like “I cant believe it”… My child was due on his birthday… which he also started going on about… It was just horrible, but things ended somewhat on a lighter note. I knew something was off. He stopped calling after that… and then in year 8 I sent him a facebook invitation. In year 9 he joined facebook and started posting about his life. I was immediately drawn to try to converse with him thru facebook and told him he looked well, and I was happy for him. Then I closed my account because I really couldn’t bare to see him. It was just too painful. Yet, I still continued to think of him…

    PHASE 4: Now in our late 20’s/early 30’s, I started suffering severe depression from my life circumstances… being in a dead-end job, an unsatisfying marriage (forced), an awesome child dangerously close to rebellion… I started seeing a counselor. I pleaded with my husband to see a counselor with me to work on our marriage… things just kept going nowhere. I would spend a lot of time alone… ALOT. Mid-year I had a very powerful dream about being with my old love. I had not seen him (it was just too painful), but the dream was so real and I was so incredibly happy in it that it really shook me up. I continued for the later half of the year to be depressed and developed anxiety over my situation. Then one night, a couple months ago, I went completely crazy and was driving recklessly, I did not care about anyone or anything. Then I had a revelation – I thought to myself, “This is not me”. It was that night that, out of nowhere, I reached out to my old love.

    PHASE 5: I contacted him thru facebook that night a couple months ago. He immediately responded, surprising saying that he had just been thinking of me. We chatted about how life had been… everything seemed good on his end… then I started to open up about how miserable I was… I got nervous and tried to end the conversation (like so many times before), but he kept the conversation going. The topic of our hometown finally came up and then the awkward moment of talking about the break-up finally happened… I could not control my emotions and just laid it all out on the line.. Told him I was irrationally still in love with him, and had been all along, etc. He kept going with the conversation, telling me that he will always love me, that I was his first love, he regretting everything regularly, he never wanted to leave me, he went crazy after we separated, that his life has not been great, that he nearly died last year, horrible relationships, that he has compared every girl to me, etc. I could hardly stand it!!! There was alot of this back and forth. He was concerned about my husband. However, my husband and I had already been discussing divorce for years, and he just really wanted me to be happy. {CHANGE 1} I immediately told my husband I wanted a divorce the day after I first contacted my old love. I was finally completely certain that my husband was not the right person for me, and that it didn’t make any sense for us to continue holding each other back. He agreed. I was also upfront that I had reconnected with an old love who had helped me confront this truth. He accepted that. {CHANGE 2} I immediately quit my dead-end job of 6 years out of nowhere (had also been in discussions with my boss for several years about my dissatisfaction with the company – but unable to find work despite having over-actively interviewing for 4 years with no luck). My old love and I continued this sort of “rediscovery” conversation for a few days and then decided to talk on the phone. We drove each other absolutely crazy… in a good way. Then we decided we needed to see each other. Our conversation continued non-stop for a few weeks, online and by phone and we pretty much decided that we were destined to be together as life long friends with an undeniable sexual, physical, emotional, mental (and spiritual) connection…and then I arrived.

    PHASE 6: I drove across the country to be with him. We connected physically instantly. He came charging out at me. Gave me the biggest embrace and I just cried and cried into his chest, him saying, “its ok, its gonna be ok”. Then we pushed back and he just started holding my face and brushing back my hair and repeating “you are so beautiful. oh my god. you are so beautiful” and then he told me he had to run back into his work for a little while longer, and so I waited a few minutes..then I sent him a message that said, “If I could turn back the clock, I would find you sooner and love you longer”. Nearly instantaneously he came running back out and tackled me. Well, you know what happened. I was done for. We spent two and half weeks together. Confessing everything our hearts desired. To be together forever. To make a home. To have my daughter with us. That we were made for each other. That we will love each other until we die. Completely lost into each other. That deep soulful stare. (I did not even go into detail here about how much my daughter parallels and plays into this). Wild crazy love. Surreal moments. Going to the grocery together, going on actual dates without parental involvement! LOL… It was like our whole relationship had been on pause for 15 years, and then action, only we were older, more mature, and had adult lives. Shockingly (but what isn’t by now?!), I also experienced the dream I had earlier in the year before I had reached out to him, only this time it was really happening. It was exactly like the dream, the way he looked (and he has changed alot since our high school days – but so have I), the feelings, the movements… everything was exactly like the dream…… Then came the time for us to part. That was not good at all. Lots of tears. Could hardly break away. He came in for another and I put my hand on his chest to stop. He got me one more time anyway 🙂 I sat in my car for 5 – 10 minutes trying to clear my head to focus on driving out. Then he watched me drive away as I blew him a kiss…and I mean he watched me drive ALL the way.. and I watched him in the rearview until the road disappeared.

    PHASE 7: Currently we are in this odd state of experience. It is like the same thing that happened the last time we were separated. Only this time we are keeping in contact, but we can’t bare to talk on the phone although we both admit via text that we want too very badly… but it’s that same horrible feeling, like it’s too painful because we, once again, can’t be together and it just drives us crazy. We are both frustrated because it is taking so long to get my house sold and finalize the divorce with the judge. However, I am planning on returning in a few weeks to visit on his birthday, new years and the week after. When I return my divorce will be final and the house will be sold, and I will be free to go. My daughter will initially be with her father, and visiting me and my love. And then further on, she will come to be with us, if that is what she wants of course. He says he “relishes” the thought of her wanting to know him. And she is absolutely crazy about him, and going to live with us. I, personally, feel like these separations are another test in our relationship. It took 15 years for us to achieve the emotional maturity to face the truth about our relationship. I feel that if we do not make it through these separation phases (if we turn passive-aggressive towards each other, instead of communicating how we feel), that we will be reunited again, either later in this lifetime, or another lifetime.

    Side note: I did have an astrological reading done, and it was very in-depth and accurate regarding our long-standing relationship as well as projections for the future. She did mention that we have strikingly similar karmic paths, that we are developing the same spiritually as separate individuals, and that it is most definitely past life connection. It sounded very promising for the future as well.

    However, one thing I know for sure is that there is just NO MORE DOUBT that this relationship will last forever.

  • anonymous December 5, 2014, 6:52 am

    Oh yes, and I forgot to mention that he never did cheat on me. That was a lie/mistruth that his friend made up because he wasn’t sure what he was doing either. It turns out that he was just torn up about the decision to move and was struggling to find a way to tell me. The whole time, 15 years, I had that fear and distrust because of that misunderstanding…which is why I had so much tension and heartache and was never about to express my feelings towards him when he’d call (that, and we were both being immature, nervous, etc). After we initially reconnected this time, we both talked about it and how we both that the other had “moved on first” and it was just a complete misunderstanding the entire time. COMMUNICATION!!! However, we both believe that this all happened for a reason, and are just happy to be part of each other’s lives again.

  • Kat December 23, 2014, 5:29 am

    The most unusual thing happened to me four months ago. I was traveling with my friend to Spain for a four-day party and met someone during that time. I have been with my husband for 16 years, married for SEVEN. He has been married to his wife for SEVEN years as well. He has a four-year old son with her but also adopted her now 11-year old daughter. At first, I felt like he would not stop looking at me and following me only to be around me. Since he is married, which he disclosed immediately, I thought that he was just a hungry dog looking for sex. We spent majority of the night together in a small group. Next day, I tried to keep distance as the whole situation seemed very weird. Yet, at the end of the we re-connected in another smaller group. From the very beginning we clicked. My friend started to call him “a male version of me”. He told me that he admired my masculinity which I could not truly understand but then I saw a femininity in him (very sensitive and emotional). From that time, I could not stop thinking about him. On the last day, I asked if he wanted to go to the beach with me (we have not been alone until then). We talked for a long time and the we kissed. It was very nice but no severe passion. So it happened that I had a planned trip to Germany following month. He happened to live in the same city where I was flying to. We decided to stay in touch until then and get to know each other. We started to talk daily for hours. After long turmoil, we decided to meet and spend some time together in Germany. We spend one evening and one full day together. After which I emailed him and said that we should take time to work on the things that we’re missing in our marriages and then reconvene in six months and discuss. In four days he emailed me and we started to talk again. He told me that he has never had such deep feelings towards anybody else, this was once in a lifetime thing, he cannot think about anything else but me, that I know how to talk to him, how to touch him, how to calm him down. He talked about life together with me. He likes the same things I do and hAs traveled to majority of places and events I have or am planning to. We have never had sex but we held hands and kissed. I didn’t make much out of it because I thought that it was just infatuation. However, I did notice that I could feel his emotions on palpable level and I was extremely reactive to his feelings (nothing like that happened to me before). Could not sleep at night, because of time difference I felt like he was waking me up with his emotions. We were going to meet during our conventions, so it happened that my convention ended the same day his started in the same town, in the same hotel (we have different jobs). He also is an exact age my husband is and his wife is my age (14 years apart). He could not go through with the meeting. He became very emotional several weeks before and told me that he knows that if he sees me he would not be able to go home and cope with his feelings, he said that he will not be able to stay with his wife. He said that he has responsibilities, also he has no one to talk to. I really wanted to meet him because I was not sure that we would be even good together and I didn’t want to break two families for something that may not work. He told me that he already knew….. And there is no question in his mind. I had to stop contact with him, it was too intense, too emotional and if he was not going to see me, I had to move on and address my marriage.
    It has been a month since discontinuing the conversation. It has been very hard. I ended up going to a psychic (never been before, don’t believe) and was hoping she would say this was a fling. She told me that I met my soulmate. All of a sudden, everything made sense. The deep, unexplained feeling (not really sexual, more emotional but could gravitate to sexuality), me feeling him and his emotions and all the things that he has been telling me. I emailed him about this but asked him not to respond to my email. I was having trouble sorting my emotions and decided to get professional help. The councillor suggested to focus on my marriage and in six months if there is no improvement and I still feel the same, I should contact him. In the meantime, I should drop him like a bad habit, she said.
    I am not sure what to do. His marriage is on very shaky grounds (does not get along with his wife very well, they are on different pages all the time and want different things) but I would never want him to leave his wife for me because if he did and our relationship didn’t work out, he would resent me. I’m almost 36 and childless. I love my husband dearly but don’t feel that connection with him and have never been interested in having children with him but we started to try recently. I don’t think there is anything else I should say to my soulmate, I think he knows how I feel. Should I give us six months and recheck, or go on with my life. Once I have children and then he becomes available, I will not be able to leave. If your recommendation is to move on, how do I forget and prevent this feeling from lingering? I may not be able to focus on my marriage if I’m thinking of him. Does it sound like a soulmate situation?
    Thank you very much for your help and support.

  • Adnael January 6, 2015, 4:42 am

    So, I’ve been reading all the comments on here and it’s made me feel a little better about things, I was starting to think I was going crazy, like, this isn’t normal but now, after reading all of these I feel some what comforted. I truly believe I have met my soulmate and it absolutely breaks my heart to know that we can never be together. We met on a night out only 5 months ago but we were instantly drawn to each other. We had a kiss. I am engaged and I acted very out of character, I love my partner (who I’ve been with for 6 years) and would never have dreamed of acting this way but is was like something came over me and I couldn’t stop it. Any way my soulmate and I spoke for a while and found out we love 5hours drive away from each other. So that was that. The next day when I woke I felt extremely guilty about how I had acted but that was also clouded by the fact I could not get this man out of my head! I felt sick with the thought that I wouldn’t see or even speak to him again but then, 2 days later he got in touch with me. He told me he was married and he felt terrible , for kissing me behind his wife’s back but also for not telling me about his situation. I guess it should have ended there but it didn’t. We begs in messaging each other every day, then it went to phone calls. I spoke to him about everything, I opened up to him in wats I never have before and he done the same. I never believed in soulmates before but the feelings we had for each other were strafe, not like we were getting to know each other but like we were remembering who we once were. 2 months later I was visiting a friend not far from where he lived and we met up for a few hours. Nothing sexual happened, yeah we kissed but we mainly just talked and looked at each other. It was then I realised I was totally head over heels in love with him. After that we went back to messaging, talking on the phone and the occasional Skype. Anyway that’s all gone now. Just a few weeks ago something changed, maybe it was because it was Christmas and it’s all about family but we decided the guilt was too much for both of us to handle and we cut all ties and went our separate ways. I’m struggling, a lot! It was only a few months but he had become my world. I looked forward to hearing from him each day, to hearing his voice, his laugh, just talking about rubbish. Now there’s nothing. I still do and always have loved my partner but it doesn’t seem to compare to what I experienced in that short time with my soulmate. I know I’ll never see him again and that hurts like hell.

  • anonymous January 10, 2015, 10:49 am

    Just an UPDATE: I’ve been back with my old love, visiting for his birthday, new year’s and another week or so. Things are developing very well. Every day we grow closer together. There are moments where we do not know who is who – mostly during lovemaking. Other times, it is similar to that except we might be having a laugh at something, and its just like we are the same person. It can be overwhelming at times… like time stopping or not existing.. in fact, that tends to happen a lot – huge amounts of time missing and us not remembering what happened or remembering but not understanding how so much time could have passed. It’s not all roses and sunshine, because there are still things we are both working on in our personal development and we get confronted by each other. It was always like that tho, just part of the friendship we have, and seeing the negative aspects in ourselves and how to guide the situation towards learning. It often times blows my mind the thoughts and feelings that come out of our mouths. We can read each other’s minds. The biggest challenge for us is living in ordinary reality. We are doing our best to do the normal things, like go to the store, do laundry, cook, etc. It’s not that we are not capable of doing these things (we’ve both been doing the normal day-to-day for decades and with other partners), it’s just that connection between us makes it somewhat of a challenge for some reason. Still trying to figure it out, but we’ve learned it’s just best to communicate about it. It’s just got something to do with learning about ourselves thru each other. I don’t know for sure, but it’s complex. Ultimately tho, it’s all a good thing. Not looking forward to leaving again, but I have to return so that I can finish selling my house and get my divorce papers. I think if this had been able to go this far when we were younger, at least one of us would have run… probably me… because it gets extremely intense and deep sometimes. It was incredible when we were younger, and I’m still amazed at how we were then and baffled that we were able to function back then. So that gives me hope. Being in a relationship like this is difficult to face. And quite literally, there have been times when we say to each other that it is too intense and we can’t face each other, look at each other, although we want to. Our hearts ache because they are so full. The energy that goes between us is always there, feels wonderful to hold each other or just be near, but when we make eye contact, especially when we are close, sometimes it feels like we are going to explode. So, its not always easy, but most of the time it is blissful! Will keep this thread updated as things progress.

  • willow January 24, 2015, 11:52 am

    I enjoyed your story, and I look forward to your update. It gives me hope.

  • sam February 5, 2015, 8:06 pm

    I totally understand where you are coming from. I met my soul mate over 20 yrs ago,. i was only 22 at the time,. From the minute we saw each other, we were instantly connected. I did not know, but he was already engaged, to be married later that year. We (being young & all) had a ‘secret’ relationship up until he was married,. & he did want to call the wedding off, because he felt so strongly for me, but it was all so overwhelming, that i didn’t want him to do that for me,. once again,. i was young & naive really,. didn’t realize that what we felt was going to last a lifetime. 20 years later, we still talk,. sometimes not for a month or 2,. he is still married with 2 children, i am single, but have 2 children, similar ages to his. Although we text or talk a few times a year,. we had not seen each other for 3 years,. until a recent unexpected ‘bump into’,. & it felt like i was ‘home’,. nothing had changed in 20 yrs,. we were like we had never not been together. We are able to keep it ‘under control’,. i would never disrupt his family, or even make him feel he needed to be with me, over his kids.. but since we ran into each other, the contact has been most days, & we have seen each other a few times,. it’s getting harder,. i’m torn.. i know we are heading in a dangerous direction,. but it’s like it’s just happening without either of us being able, or willing to stop it. I don’t want to totally give in to this, i know couldn’t leave his wife & kids, & live happily with me after hurting them, he is a good person, the guilt would ruin him,.. & us, anyway!.. He said 20 years ago, that we would get to be together in our next life,. so maybe we have to hope that’s true, & keep our distance.?! timing sucks! 🙂

  • thomas February 21, 2015, 12:10 pm

    I have been married for 12 years. I have 4 kids. I am currently divorced for the last 4 years. I havent met anyone special enough to hold onto for a real relationship. I met this woman 3 months ago and it was love at first sight. We fell head over heals for each other. We see each other a couple of times a week. Within the first month i went to meet her in Puerto Rico to meet her family. I feel like we have been together in a past life. It was love at first sight. We have such a great bond with each other and it is so beautiful. The only prob is that she is leagally still married and has been seperated for the last 3 years. They have been on and off with each other. He cheated a few times but she is still attached to him financially. They have no kids together but she is scared to let go of him. They live in different states. I know that we are soulmates and it is just hard to deal with the issue of him. We have never felt this love for each other in our lives. Idk what to do. I love her with every inch of me. Why do i cry and feel like she is gonna go back to him. Why am i so insecure about this situation. What happen to happily ever after. I am so afraid of losing her. She completes me. We were meant to find each other and this is true love. Where does this go from here.. i am tired of a broken heart…

  • Selina February 24, 2015, 12:23 am

    Hi Thomas,

    Thanks for sharing your experiences with us. I’m so sorry that she is not ready to leave a relationship that has not been healthy for her. Our emotions can be so complicated that we do not always see how we harm ourselves with our choices.

    I think the question is not where does this go from here, but how can you take the energy you are investing emotionally with someone who is not ready to fully be 100% present with you and redirect it to what is healthy for you. I’m not telling you to leave her or to stay – that is up to you. Perhaps the redirection may be taking a break to think, going to counseling together or separately, or coming to a resolution within yourself as to how long you are willing to wait.

    Fate is part of it but so is free-will. What would you tell a best friend to do?

    All the best,

  • anonymous March 5, 2015, 5:51 am

    *UPDATE* Hi Willow!

    I am SOOO excited to report that I am finally moving this Sunday! We are both about to burst with joy! Now, I have been meaning to report that during my last visit my love became very ill. We spent many days/nights taking care of him. He does have a couple chronic health conditions which flared up pretty bad during that time period. It was very hard on him, physically and emotionally. I cared for him then, as I did when we were younger (he had these issues then as well). When I returned from my last visit, my love received some news from his doctor that he may have something more serious going on and needs more tests to diagnose. February was a very rough month for us, not being together and not knowing the state of his health. It was very intense. We finally broke through the fear, anger and depression of it all, and I am finally able to return to him. When I return we will first celebrate!!! and then take care of the medical tests (he has not wanted to do them without me there – which has been both frustrating but understandable, as he has been very scared). I have accepted the very real possibility that he is terminal and does not have a long time left (spent many many days/nights crying and pleading to God for me to take his place), but coming thru all of this as we have, we both clearly recognized and acknowledge that what’s most important is cherishing the time we have together! We are in this together every step of the way, for as long as we are both on this journey. I will report back as things progress.

  • adwoa March 29, 2015, 6:25 pm

    I need an advice, I met this man whom I think is my soul mate cos he makes me happy and I make him happy too but when I met him he told me he impregnated a lady who he’s married to know. He got married to the lady cos during the time she was pregnant she threatened to kill herself and the baby if he didn’t marry her so he had no choice than to marry her. Now he feels trapped and he’s not happy and any time he talks about this to me he crys. We click very well he’s in love with me and I am too. Now he wants to leave his wife. What should I do

  • karma1 April 13, 2015, 1:13 pm


    I was riveted by your story. Such a long time to wait to be together, & now you have another obstacle. I hope your love is well. Please give us an update, and know that you are in my prayers.

  • Deone April 17, 2015, 9:04 am

    I have always believed in the idea of a soul mate but never imagined I would come across mine. I was married for 12 yrs and from the moment I was about to say I do, I knew he wasn’t the one. I couldn’t see myself with him for the rest of my life but I knew he would be a good provider and father so I made the most of it. So now we have been divorced for 5yrs and we hv gone back and forth with the idea of getting back together. This past year I gave in and dated him again and we became engaged in January. I admit I only did it for our kids and there seemed to be no good men available to me. Well as quick as I said yes to marry him again the man of my dreams made his debut. I had a crush on this man from the first time I saw him 4yrs ago but never said anything to him. As time went on and I would see him around I would get such an anxious feeling wanting to talk to him. Well I finally had an opportunity to speak to him one on one and it took my breath away. I had no idea why I was feeling so crazy about this man I only knew in passing. We exchanged numbers and soon found out that he experienced the exact same thing. He told me that the first time he saw me it scared him because I was the girl from his dreams and he couldn’t believe I was real. The feeling of wanting to be together is overwhelming! Of course it’s not that simple. He’s married with 2 little ones and I’m engaged to my ex whom I hv 2 kids with as well. Once I knew that we both felt the same pull towards eachother I stopped all wedding plans and recently ended the relationship. We mostly text and talk on the phone because we were trying to respect his marriage but we had to know how it would feel to be alone together, to touch and kiss. We decided to meet and it was the most amazing feeling that I have ever felt. We just held eachother so tight and I could feel him breathing the same sigh of relief that I was. It was as if we had been together before and was finding eachother again. We talked and looked so deeply into eachothers eyes. We kissed and it was like putting 2 puzzle pieces together, everything was perfect. When it was time for him to leave it almost brought tears to my eyes. We contiued texting and admitted that we both knew we should be together. Every meeting after that was so intense and emotional that we couldn’t help but to take it to the next level. We were talking one night and professed our love and before we knew it we were making love. Everything about our time together was amazing! It hurts so bad to be away from him and know that he’s with someone else. He seems to know me better than I know myself. Our strong connection weighs heavy on us because of his situation. We know we are meant to be together but how could he just leave his family? I can’t be that reason. He says he isn’t happy with her but is reluctant to go because of the kids and I definitely understand. We discussed this a few days ago and told him I couldn’t be the other woman in his life and he agreed. He said he wouldn’t do that to me and couldn’t do it to himself either. So it seems he has a made up mind to be with me but there was no timeframe given. I don’t want to pressure him but I feel like we should try to stay away from eachother and stop communication until he has made that transition so that he knows for sure he’s doing it because he doesn’t want to be with her and not because he wants to be with me. I would feel horrible thinking I broke up a family. Of course our love is a secret and we can’t be out together publicly and even knowing that we can’t let go. This is such a tough position to be in. I never knew love like this was real! I pray our time comes but if he never leaves her at least I know that I found my one true love.

  • anonymous July 29, 2015, 5:32 am

    Why do I feel that the article above is written just for me? I got married and then I met my soulmate – I felt a truly deep connection, so complete, so needed and completely energized. I also went crazy and couldn’t get him out of my head. It was unbelievable – very bittersweet experience. And the best part is, he felt the same way too. It’s interesting how we both were ‘arranged’ to meet when we attended the same course together. How is that possible? But we’ve both now decided (rather painfully) that we need to stop communicating because we both need to move on – our journeys are not the same. But eventually, as you said, we will all meet again won’t we?

    How can I know if my soulmate is thinking about me? Now that we are no longer connected.

  • Chris August 1, 2015, 11:06 am

    My husband and I have an “open relationship”. I know that may sound horrible to some but that’s how we are. Anyway, it doesn’t bother me if he has sex with other women, but what does bother me is when he came home the other day and said he met a woman that “touches his soul”. They have some kind of connection, and that she’s looking for a casual sex partner. The whole thing about touching his soul really hurt my feelings. I thought only your spouse was supposed to do that.

    We’re not the type of couple to tell each other who they can be friends with, but I’m not comfortable with this at all. As much as we are in love, I’m worried about this friendship becoming more. If I say something I know he’ll get really upset. Help!!

  • Selina Khan August 8, 2015, 1:31 pm

    Hi Chris,

    In our lives, there will be many people who touch our souls, both male and female. What’s important in a relationship between two committed people is that they value the commitment and the other person. It sounds like you need reassurances from him that your value is still most important to him despite how others may touch or move him emotionally in the moment. I can’t tell you what to do as that isn’t my place. I can only suggest that you think about speaking to him in a way that expresses how you feel rather than coming across in a jealous or accusing way. If you both approach this with open communication and respect for the other person, it could be a great way to start connecting with him in a deeper way and to clarify his feelings.

    All the best,

  • Selina Khan August 8, 2015, 2:08 pm

    Hi Anonymous,

    Yes, you will meet again on the other side if you are not to be together in this lifetime. It’s hard to wait until then, but there are many reasons why our path is what it is – to help others, to learn and experience for ourselves.

    Usually when you have a strong connection, when you think about someone it’s because they are thinking about you or you are picking up on their emotions. If you are trying to move on, it would help to not strengthen this psychic telepathic connection and let it go. Otherwise, sometimes it keeps you stuck so you can’t stop thinking about that person and it’s hard to move on.

    All the best to you,

  • Anonymous August 21, 2015, 5:04 pm

    I met my soulmate almost 17 years ago. We had an immediate connection.

    She is 9 years older than I am and we live in different countries.

    We used to travel back and forth regularly to see each other. Our relationship was more emotional than physical, but the physical was an added bonus.

    Being that we were from different countries, after a few years, we drifted apart. We never ended our relationship. We just kind of; got lost.

    5 years later, I got married…to a wonderful lady. But before I married her, I was searching all over for my soul mate, in hopes that we could rekindle what we had, but to no avail.

    In the back of my mind, I didn’t want to get married, BUT I didn’t want to hurt my ‘wife to be’s’ feelings.

    My wife and I have an awesome relationship and 2 wonderful kids. We have been together almost 13 years and our marriage/relationship has been almost perfect. We are not argumentative people and we avoid confrontations at all costs. As soon as a problem arises, we sit and analyze and try to sort it out as soon as possible.

    Throughout our marriage, I have on numerous occasions, reached out to my ex, because thoughts of her would come rushing at me so strongly that it would become overwhelming.

    My wife found out after the first occurrence. And it has now been 4 times that I have reached out.

    The thing is, my soul mate feels the exact same way as well. We had decided that we would both make our marriages work for the sake of our partners and kids.

    Well, at the beginning of this year, my feelings for my wife took and unexpected turn. The feelings for my ex came flooding back and it’s as if I lost ALL attraction for my wife. But, I tried to mask my feelings by doing more for and with my wife so that she wouldn’t pick up on anything.

    I ended up reaching out to my ex and come to find out, she and her husband are parting ways.

    Well, I ended up coming clean to my wife and letting her know what was truly going on with me. I have never in my life had to deal with a situation as such. I have always been a very decisive person, but in this instance, my mind and my emotions are all over the place.

    I thought by speaking to close family members about my situation would help, BUT it only brought remorse because they were saying I was being selfish and how could I just ‘throw away’ my wife and family like that.

    I love my wife, no doubt, but I am so in love with my ex. My biggest concern is, how would it affect my kids? My wife and I have already talked about separation/divorce because she says she doesn’t want to be responsible for my unhappiness and that I need to follow my heart. That’s not to say that she is not upset.

    We have had some pretty decent communication regarding this issue and there has been some moments where it got a bit heated but I never once raised my voice because I understood the pain she was feeling.

    My ex says that she’s prepared to wait on me.

    This is a very scary situation because I wonder I can normally trust my gut with decisions, but this one is one of those situations of I want to stay, but I want to leave.

    I thought I was alone in this, but it warms my heart to know that there are so many others out there faced with similar stories.

    At the end of it all, be honest with yourself, be honest with your spouse; if you are married, be honest with the person who is your soul mate, and as hard as it may be, try to make a decision as quickly as possible, because there are 2 other people holding on who also need to carry on with their lives.

    At the end of day, the decision you make is yours and yours alone. Don’t regret it! Try your best to make it work…whichever path you choose. And again…in EVERYTHING…be honest!

  • NR September 22, 2015, 2:55 pm

    We have met 11years ago… It was instant 5years we both fought to be toguether, he was married although left his wife I was young and all the pressure from his wife and family got in the way, we hurts each other and we loved each other… Is a connection that we cannot hide, anyone in the same room as us can see it and feel it … To run away I met someone and tried to move on… But for for years all I could do was cry every night… He went back to his wife.. After the breakup we didn’t speak for 2years… I avoided seeing him… When we sow each other was as if nothing had changed… We so know each other like no one else… I was strong and refused to take things further, he moved to a different country with his wife… Although we kept in contact… Every time I had a dream about him… He would text… The dreams were always we were trying to reach each other but it seemed impossible… 2years later he comes back and it was stronger than us… We seen each other… We had an amazing weekend toguether… We forgot the world, the responsibilities and all… And just enjoyed the moment… It was like us alone in the world… Then he gets back to his country and I go back home and break up with my partner that had been for 4years.. Although I knew he had gone back… I still loved him and I couldn’t carry on living a lie… So I moved on… From that weekend I missed him in a healthy way… He kept contact… & everytime he text it was a spiritual and healthy love instead of pain… 3years gone and he came back… Missed me as I missed him…& he can’t understand the connection… We both tried hard to keep away from one another but is stronger than us… But he is married… Although he loves me and we are defiantly soul mates we sacrifice our happiness….

  • Anonymous October 1, 2015, 12:11 am

    UPDATE 🙂

    Tests came back clear for cancer. He still has the chronic terminal condition, but we have more time for now 🙂 it’s uncanny how similar our life paths are… we are engaged now! Something we never thought would be possible, and it may not happen bc who knows, he or I might go tomorrow – but we are going for it! My daughter came for an extended visit and we had such a lovely time together. He becomes so overjoyed with her and I. And she is all over him. Best buds. They are definitely related in some way. From a past life, just as we are, no doubt. We are working on creating a home for us all. It’s taking time, but that has been the biggest lessen of all PATIENCE – Next would be communication. So, just wanted to check-in and let you know that all is well. We don’t have a long time but we will cherish every moment we do have. This is a love that opens, teaches, inspires and is bound til the end of time.

  • Jay October 26, 2015, 8:00 pm

    i had an experience that me and my soulmate were with each other in a whole nother world. Somehow the love manifested again and her true colors came out. She was abusive half the time and really nice the rest of the time. She was given to prostitution and drugs. I did my best to love and support her but in this modern day world real simple people just simply can’t make it. The police were separating us for no damn reason. that is real love. true love is not seperatable.

  • Kevin October 31, 2015, 11:29 am

    Wow what a read… i have never wrote a commenr before on the internet ,but im currently married and ive been having thoughts of my ex who i believe is my soulmate and well one day she messaged me on Facebook and well she’s far away but what we had was a burning desire for eachother we was an everlasting love the reason i left her was because i cheated on her and felt too bad to stay even if she wanted to forgive me. But my wife is saying im her soulmate but my emotions are so mixed up ive never been in this position… ever. I need your advise.

  • Selina Khan November 2, 2015, 12:07 pm

    Hi Kevin,

    I believe that we have more than one soul mate. I also believe that many of us may think someone is a soul mate but that person may not be. Sometimes when we are very dependant or emotionally attached to someone in an unhealthy way, or that person represents an ideal or escape for us, we may call them a soul mate to justify our actions, fears and desires.

    What I can suggest is that consider doing any or all the following for clarity:

    1. Talk to a therapist
    2. Meditate so you can tune into your spirit without any influence from the energy of your ex or your wife or from the overwhelming emotions you may be feeling right now
    3. Be patient so you have time to come to the right decision for you

    Also, may I suggest that you think about this – if she is your everlasting love and your soul mate as you feel she is, what prompted you to cheat in the first place?

    All the best,

  • Chris December 4, 2015, 2:28 pm

    I got married in 2001, had a child with my wife in 2007. 2008 is when I locked eyes with a women on the train on my afternoon commute home and was never the same. We talked casually at first, saw each other a couple more times that week. A few days later, something strange was happening to me. I couldn’t get this women out of my head. The next 6 month on the train we would talk to each other about anything an everything effortlessly. Nothing was out of bounds. She left that winter due her current husbands job transfer.

    Fast forward a few years, my life was flipped upside down, my marriage almost didn’t make it, we survived . . . to this day, I have kept this women my secret. She is without a doubt a close soul mate of mine. We have perfect chemistry but we both realize a “typical” relationship was never in the cards for this lifetime and it sucks.

    This dialog never took place but has been implied:

    Me: “I would like more of you in my life”
    Me: “I will not divorce my wife for my kids sake”
    her: “YOU’RE MARRIED”
    her: “I can’t fall so deeply in love with someone who’s not mine” <– she actually said that
    Me: "you're right, and it sucks"

    I felt guilty at first because I was in a committed loving marriage and I also love this other women . . . more than my wife. The attraction and bond was just so much stronger. I know (now) I was meant to cross paths with this women but not be her life partner. I have had much spiritual counseling on this matter and have made tremendous progress but it doesn't make this any easier knowing that loving this person feels so right. It also bothers me that this incredible amazing women whom I love so much and is so amazing, I can't tell a soul about.

    So what have I learned the past 8 years? This experience cause a spiritual awakening that certainly changed me. Society says we can only be in love with one person (our life partner) but this is total BS. Rules in the physical don't apply to the spiritual laws of love. I have learned that it's okay to love and be in-love with more than one person.

    She is for the most part physically unavailable to me living 4 hrs away by plane. She is not married at the moment – has had 3 failed marriages), but dates, searching for someone that will complete her and be the love of her life.

    I don't feel guilty at all for loving her while being married to someone else. This love is more spiritual than physical. We have an interesting relationship now. We actually do see each other from time-to-time and have sessions unbelievable mind-blowing passionate sex for a night, then loose track of each other till then next random time. I have trouble disconnecting after events like this, she is much better at it than me burring herself in work for her job.

    It's beautiful, everything about her is so beautiful, and it tragic and hurts bad sometimes that this is the way it is.

    Knowing love on this level is something that not many people really understand. Along the same lines, I was show a vision in my minds eye on what the universe really is: The universe and everything in it is artificial and fake. I saw it, felt it, had an absolute knowing that the only thing that is actually real is LOVE. You are always with soul mate(s) weather you realize it or not.

    Hope this helps some of you 🙂

  • Emma December 8, 2015, 9:06 pm

    I met a man just over 7 years ago, we worked at the same company and had mutual friends within the same company which is how we met. I was attracted to him and discreetly found out if he was married (he was). We would see each other, chat, nothing too out of the ordinary but I always knew I could tell him anything if I wanted to. He was always flirting, but men have always done that with me so I really didn’t think too much about it.
    Then we started IMing each other and meeting for our coffee breaks. He became the sole reason I could make it to work some days (I was not happy at that company). Then one day he tells me to meet him outside, he had something to tell me. He tells me that he’s always been attracted to me and what a great person he thinks I am and if he were single he would date me.
    I didn’t know what to say at first, then I was angry at him for putting that energy into the universe. The feelings I had for him that I’d pushed down came bubbling up and before I knew it were bursting forth and could not be stopped.
    Then he kept asking for just one kiss. I always said no.
    Then his position was eliminated from the company and he moved on. I was kind of hurt by his attitude the last day (not sure what I thought would happen) but I figured it was probably for the best.
    Fast forward a year after having not seen each other and I reached out to him because I thought he could help me in my new endeavor. I also thought enough time had passed that whatever feelings we thought we had for each other would be a non-issue. He was quick to respond and we met for drinks. He wanted to go somewhere we could be alone, I again said no. And it seemed like it might be possible for him to leave his wife.
    I have tried multiple times to “end” things, he has made it clear that he will not leave his wife (and I don’t want his family broken up) but it just doesn’t seem to work.
    The latest time I said this is it, professed my love for him and said it’s just too hard to have you in my life if I can’t be with you as part of a couple.
    Then life stepped in. I was out of work and I actually got a position at the same company he is now working for. I reached out because I felt he deserved a heads up that I was working there and as there are several offices around the area, I wasn’t exactly sure which one he was in and I wanted to avoid any awkwardness.
    Somehow we’re meeting for drinks again. We are in different buildings but in a weird twist of fate we actually pass each other on the way to work. I saw him the other day and texted him (I was stopped), he texted back and then called. He’s always so quick to do anything for me.
    A few months back (before I tried the last “this is it”) we were in contact with each other and I said fine, come to my house. It had always been on me to make sure something didn’t happen (which quite frankly I resent) and he again asked for a kiss. I asked what’s stopping you? He said I was. It was the most tender kiss I have ever experienced. I didn’t (still don’t) feel guilty about it although he did, yet he’s not sorry he did.
    It is very painful for me to have a relationship with him, yet I know from my life experiences that he is meant to be in my life. People who aren’t meant to be in my life I have no problem moving on from.
    I’m at a loss as to what to do. I pray multiple times a day for a sign. I get fuzzy readings as my own desire seems to force its way to the front. I dream of the day we can be together. No one I meet even sparks my interest. I hate living like this and feel like I will always be alone if I’m not with him.

  • Melissa January 12, 2016, 3:11 am

    My situation is a bit tricky. I have been married to my husband for two years, and we’ve had issues all along. I loved him, but it was never intense and I never felt we connected spiritually or phyaically but he was a good man and I had father issues so finding a mature person seemed like the right thing to do. In fact, I actively dismissed the idea of ever being with someone whom I truly connected with. Turns out, my husband and I are very different people and I have tried very hard to tolerate his character and have been tremendously working on myself for him but he says he doesn’t see the work I do and that he doesn’t appreciate me. He basically doesn’t like to talk about anything with me, has a concentration problem so he rarely listens to what I have to say, and blames me for all relationship problems. He has emotionally abused me for a very long time. He actually tells me he doesn’t enjoy talking to me and he wants to try to be single and with other people. He says he feels like himself more when he is with his friends. He would then come and act normal a few days after saying those things. When I am sad, he would never comfort me and would say I am being negative and have low self-esteem. For the past two years, he would tell me he would leave me whenever we had a fight. He would go out and come back at dawn and I would be all alone. This got me so mad and made me even more attached. I would get so mad and would reach levels of anger that I am not proud of, and that would lead to aggressive behavior. He would coldly react and just leave. At this point he basically says he thinks relationships should make you happy and if not then you shouldn’t be in one. I disagree with that and think that there will always be challenges, and working through those challenges is what makes us grow. I believe in thr power of human relationships in spiritual growth but this is not something that he believes in.

    Anyway- three months ago, we moved to a new country together. Everything seemed great (we still lacked connection but things were ok on the outside) and he was very good to me so I thought our relationship is finally improving. Two months after, I met this guy in a spiritual development group that I had joined. I immediately knew there was something about him. The first time he spoke to me, his smile and his eyes were filled with kindness and I immediately became aware of the possibility of actually connecting with someone on a deeper level. I could feel he is attracted to me, and I can’t deny, I was too. I could never ever cheat so I decided to stop going to biking so as not to see him. That day, I went home and I hugged my husband so strongly. I felt bad about what I felt with this guy. And I stopped meeting with the group for a few weeks and tried to be a good partner to my husband. When I went back after a few weeks, I saw him again. We only spoke very briefly but I still felt the attraction. Again, I haven’t been there for weeks.

    But here’s what happened- three weeks ago, I had a massive fight with my husband. He said those things I earlier mentioned (that he wants to be alone or with other people, that he doesn’t appreciate me etc.) I cried and couldn’t sleep or eat for days, and then something happened. I became cold and did not care anymore. After the fight, we agreed we will see a counselor but to be honest, I am positive that I do not want to be with him anymore. That being said, I cannot leave now. I have yet to find a job and move out. I am not a liar, and I have explicitly told him that. We had an agreement that he would provide until I find a job as I had been doing my PhD. Before that I was working full time and paid the rent. But right now, we are in this grey area. I plan on finding a job and moving out but it might take time as we have signed a lease together and we need to take care of financial things. SO- I am leaving regardless of whether the other man was in the picture. Knowing that I will eventually be single, and having clicked with this other man, I do not want to ruin any possible chances with him. But I am in the middle of a failing relationship and need to focus on myself for now. I am afraid of seeing him and having to tell him that I am married as it might discourage him. And I can’t lie to him, so I am avoiding him. But what if I ruin my chances and never see him again?

    Please help me!


  • Selina Khan January 16, 2016, 9:13 pm

    Hi Melissa,

    Thank you for sharing your experiences with us. Being in an emotionally abusive relationship is never a good thing, and it seems you have finally reached your limit. It also seems that you are wise and courageous as you did not let your past experiences close down your heart.

    The man in the spiritual group may be from your soul group, and/or he may be someone that is meant to be a catalyst to help you see other possibilities, whether it be with him or not. Honesty is obviously a very strong part of your integrity.

    When you start to get to know people, whether this man or another, you may not be in a position to act on anything as you work on your marriage (or end your marriage). However, this doesn’t mean that you can’t be friends with or speak to this man. Why not let him own his own reactions and stop pre-judging how he will react? You decide how much you are comfortable in sharing. You may choose to not share anything until your status in your marriage is clearer to you or you may share right from the get go. In any case, as you have a strong sense of what is right for you use that as your guide.


  • Alice February 3, 2016, 9:33 pm

    I have been truly captivated from reading these stories and I have a calm over me that has not been present since I met him. So much makes sense now, I realise my feelings for this guy I met just 3 weeks ago are understandable – I now understand the strength of my feelings.

    We met in London purely by chance and I got to spend time with him, within minutes of us meeting, he’d asked for my contact on facebook and we connected. I found the connection with him quite surprising, he looked young, turned out he’s 18 years younger than me but it doesn’t feel an issue. I truly believe we have been put in each others lives for a reason.

    Less than 3 hours after he left that night, he was messaging me asking to meet up. I couldn’t as was already busy but we met up a couple of days later, enjoyed some time and we kissed. We speak on message/ on the phone almost every day, nothing else matters when we speak. Before this calm, I had incredible feelings for him, that kept bubbling up, all the time, uncontrollably, almost too much for him! He said it was too much! We had a break for a few days and its been better since.

    I should mention I am already in a long term relationship for 14 years, but he trusts me implicitly and I don’t feel I am going against that trust – this is something I haven’t felt before and the connection I have with the new man is strong, on a different level. I still love my partner, of course, you can’t just turn those feelings off and I was worried I may become engulfed by my feelings for my soul but this calm has really helped with that too. I feel so much more settled!

    We haven’t managed to meet up again – we dearly both want to but I think he is afraid of his feelings and I’m afraid seeing him again will just cement what I already know, that he is my soul as I am his. I don’t want to hurt my family but I also feel he’s here for me, just for me, and I can’t walk away from that, even though I have considered doing so. I do get upset when our plans to meet don’t come through but now I realise he’s not going anywhere, I’m not going anywhere, I can wait, even though I am desperate for him! It helps me and the situation greatly to now have this calm, thank you.

    I’m not sure what I’m asking, I know what I need to do, to give him time, to give the situation time. I know I love him and those feelings are not going anywhere. So thank you for this page and the stories which have helped me deal with this.

    I found this song and find the lyrics help me, too – http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/athlete/chances.html

    Good luck to everyone as they make life work around their soul mate and strength to make the hard decisions that these experiences sometimes bring.

    Keep sharing, it really does help!

  • Christina February 13, 2016, 3:08 am

    Hi !!!
    NEED HELP ! This may be little big story but Plz read and help me out. as I feel im going into depression.
    I met my soulmate who is married to a woman who is 3 years elder to him and has a 5 year off sweet female child. We both felt we were made for eachother but never expressed as he was already married and maintained to be good friend. As days past we became best friends that he started sharing about his life .

    Surprisingly theirs was love marriage. He says that till date he has never told her love you except in initial day when she had proposed him. He even don’t remember the day when he said ‘ I love You’ to her. His friend advised him not to enter into relationship then as they felt they won’t get along with each other. He doesn’t have father and was not financial strong during his post graduation studies. She supported him then and was emotionally blackmailed then to marry her. As he didn’t have strong support he felt may be it was meant for him and got into the relationship thinking he will get used. He later realized she was 3 years elder.

    She has been always been cruel to him. As She is from wealthy family she illiterate his mother and sister or any family members. Has never let him spend more than three days with his family and/ or never encouraged them to stay at their home too for more than two days. She treats him down infront of gathering (which we have noticed during get together). Most of us feel uncomfortable and avoid the gathering with her. She makes sure that he doesnt have any close friends ( boy or girl) . Even comments on his sister relationship with him. She and her mother treat him and his family always down.

    He even told she doesnt like me talking to him (were not in relationship during time. maintained our friendship in so decent manner) . I spoke to her overphone to clarify this but she was rude and was not ready to listen. He was so broken down. It was then, I promised him that I wont move away from him for such ridiculous comments and would stay in his life forever. As days passed we became close at heart level and he expressed himself saying pls stay with me ( he meant he loved and want to marry me). Initially I rejected, he commented saying don’t want anymore cruelty and mental harassment in his life and want to live life which he dreamt off. Pls take me and my daughter with you. Even before he met me they weren’t in close intimate relationship.

    I really can’t make out the moment I started loving and became intimate with him. I need him in my life and he too needs me. He is very honest and true to me till date. He wants to move out from her and marry me. But worried about his daughter. We both wants his daughter with us becoz he feels they will spoil that cute little girl life ( as he has witnessed his wife elder sister who is divorced and staying with his 8 year old son in her parents’ home). He is scared of custody of his child and stumbling how to proceed further and thinking of breaking our relationship for this. But we becomes restless when we think of departing and care for me so much. Neither of us will be happy later if we depart because we love eachother so much ( We haven’t met eachother since one year as he shifted his location unfortunately but still speak everyday, living with word of trust and can feel the intense love between us ).

    Even I cant live with him after meeting such a true loving and honest person. I have even tried to quit myself but again feel he will suffer if I do this.

    Can we get the child custody which is the only major factor making us feeling depressed and helpless. Pls help.

  • christina February 13, 2016, 5:29 am

    Hi NEED HELP !!!!

  • K. L. February 14, 2016, 3:35 pm

    @Lynn– my situation was the same… Except fast forward a few years. I conceded to him being married and I got married too. He is since divorced, and I’m in an unhappy and failing relationship. We have 4 children between the two us and it is complicated, but is my heart’s one true desire. My children and his come first. And the thought of telling my children that their dad and I are divorcing is gut-wrenching. I’ll take any advice I can get. Good luck.

  • Selina Khan February 16, 2016, 10:59 am

    Hi Christina,

    Sounds like you are going through a lot emotionally right now. Sometimes, it’s better to do what’s practical rather than look for psychic predictions. The man that you love would be best to consult a lawyer or paralegal aid so he can get information about his options in moving forward in case of divorce and/or child custody.

    My feeling is that he can get shared custody and not full.

    All the best,

  • Tracey February 18, 2016, 11:35 am

    My husband went on a search to find his past life wife and found her. Now after 26 years being married he wants to leave me and his family. I’m devasted

  • Bonnie February 26, 2016, 9:06 pm

    I met my soul mate 27 years ago. From the instant I saw him I cared not about the world. I can only describe the feeling as one of “being home, settling into a warm bath on a cold day, or trying to describe a color you’ve never seen before.” I was married at the time so we knew it wasn’t going to last, he was a success on the rise. I thought as bout him constantly and always wondered. Fast forward to 2010, I got a message from him asking if I’d come to see him. He thought about me, compared others to me, and like me remember every second we were together. Life happened and we both went our ways in the meantime. Now, I’m single and he’s not. My kids are grown, his aren’t. Many psychics and readers have told me we are soul mate and we will continue to connect until we are finally together. I adore this man and yes am in love with him. We’ve never said the words but how do I know it’s true and not just my romantic ideology?

  • Selina Khan March 2, 2016, 3:27 pm

    Hi Bonnie,

    How do you know it’s true? You’ll feel it to the depth of your core. Some things you just know. As my husband told me when he saw me, there was a “ping” in his soul and he knew.


  • Aya March 10, 2016, 3:59 pm

    I have met my soulmate after few months of his marriage. We are botb from the same city but he moved our to be with his wife. He married her to settle only and a better “career life” with her.

    We meet once every couple of month and we came to realize we are true soulmate. We commhnicate all the time miles apart without visible contact.

    He is too afraid to leave her broken and leave his career to start from zero in our city. But he also dreams and wanta a future with me, his love.

    He feels guilty for keeping me in this loop of waiting.

    Any tips to make our union happen soon?
    Or should i just live my life and wait for the universe to intervene?

    We wants nothing but to be together…please help

    Note: a support group for all the commenters would be gold. Id love to hear beautiful happy endings ❤️

  • Arnold March 11, 2016, 12:56 am

    Im 31 with 2 children…2 girls, 9 & 11. With a wife who Ive loved since i first saw her in highschool… But last week I think ive met my soul mate for the first time in a Astrial plane. Ive done some reading, an it seems it could be possible to have more than one soul mate… I believe my current wife is one, but the connection i felt with my other soul mate in the Astrial plane is far beyond this one… I can still visualize in my mind bits an peices like as if just happened…. It was a short dream… It felt very real. Light was illuminating around us as we were holding onto eachother the whole time… We had a conversation i cant really remember, i can only recall the end of it. We had this connection as if she knew me 200% , she knew me for a very long time… an for some reason, i felt like i knew her for a very long time… Longer than my 31 years of living. I can slightly remember her face… She was amazingly beautiful. Towards the end of our intimate connection… I was devastatingly crying, i knew i was about to wake up… Telling her i didnt want to leave, i remember that exact feeling and telling her id rather stay there with her than come back… As I was in tears while holding her tight, she told me i had to go and gave me a kiss… She looked into my eyes with her hand wiping my tears away, and told me not to worry, that we would be together again. I agreed, gave her one last hug and closed my eyes. I woke up… breathing uncontrollably, almost hyperventilating, as if i was crying for a very long time… I knew it wasnt just some dream, my body, my mind, my soul reacted as though it actually happened… theres no words to describe how pure it felt, how strong that connection was, how much love i felt in that little time i had compared to what i already experienced in life… Ill never forget it, im hoping ill see her again, an i hope somehow she knows that.

  • Selina Khan March 14, 2016, 2:57 pm

    Hi Aya,

    The best thing to do is always to work on yourself. Live your life with an open heart and love yourself unconditionally. If the joining of the two of you is in the highest good for everyone, it will be brought about. When the Divine Mind and the Higher Self is in alignment and in agreement with the human will, then things will come about as we want. While we have some influence through free will on the future and indeed can help to create and shape it, without that alignment, things don’t seem to move forward. Hence in times of waiting, keep an open heart and work on loving yourself.


  • Aaliyah March 17, 2016, 1:36 am

    Thank goodness I have stumbled upon this page. I have been in a relationship for almost 8 years. And my best friend has been in his relationship for roughly about 6 years. My best friend and I met the last year year of our college career and instantly we became the best of friends. People were even questioning if we were dating. He hid the fact he was in a relationship and for some reason so did I. We were both happy in our relationships though. Once we both discovered we were in relationships, our friendship never changed. We both talk constantly and he has gotten engaged. But, I couldn’t get him out of my mind. I know for a fact he is undoubtedly my soulmate.
    There is just something about him that makes me feel like, he’s the one. Like we have dated before. I have never asked him if he felt the same way. But when he sees me, we hug for a long time, and never wanting to let go. But for the sake of both our relationships, which I respect, I always try to let go. He always says just a little bit longer. I don’t know why there’s this attraction. We are both happy in our relationships, but he insists on being best friends. Is this weird? Should I stop being friends with him out of respect for his now fiancee?

  • Selina Khan March 17, 2016, 12:22 pm

    Hi Aaliyah,

    Thanks for your comment. Here’s my two cents. There is no need to stop being friends with him as long as proper boundaries are maintained that respect your respective partners and your own integrity. Think of him as a girlfriend – how long do you hug your best friend who is female? Do you need to have extended hugs to have a good heart connection? Maybe you are a long hugger, maybe you aren’t, or maybe you know this isn’t just a best friend hug but a way to connect sexually without crossing obvious lines.

    You may want to put the shoe on the other foot so to speak and try to look at it from another perspective – would you be okay with it if you were the finacee or your partner?

    These are just things to think about so you find what feels right to you.

    If his fiancee has an issue with it, she may speak to him and it would be his responsibility to let you know or to curtail anything that may be interfering with his relationship with her.

    Lots to think about. Hope it helps!


  • Ashlee March 30, 2016, 2:48 pm

    In reading this article, I am in the same situation as most. I’m 26 coming up on my second year of marriage. I have known my husband for 11 years. Things were wonderful, we drifted for almost 4 years, then decided it was time to get married. My husband is stuck on me, he wants me and is committed to me. In the last couple weeks I have been discluding myself and separating from the emotions. My best guy friend has recently entered my life in a way I never thought possible. In 2008 I met him while in my first year of college. In 2011 I told him how much I loved him and wanted to be with him. Fast forward to 2014, I invited him to my wedding but he couldn’t come due to work. In a way I wish he would have come but then I wouldn’t be married today. Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband but I have something with my best friend even more. Now 2 years later we video message and talk nearly everyday since we’re in 2 different states. He is single and I’m married. We both want to be together and we both have spilled out how much we love each other. Our love is powerful and I feel like he entered back in at the right time. I have thought about divorce but that’s not an option. My husband does not know, he feels different and I believe he suspects something but he dosent know we talk everyday,multiple occasions. I’m just stuck because I do have love and feelings for them both. However, I know I have to choose 1 deep down inside and I want my best friend. Please help what do I do. I know what I want but I feel the divorce route will cause major issues.

  • Emily April 7, 2016, 10:26 pm

    Well, this is certainly a popular topic!

    I met my Soulmate three years ago the first time I heard his voice on the phone ~ he was Home. I recognized his soul, and he, mine. We wrote copious and wondrous email letters to each other, touching deeply, sweetly, joyously, lovingly humorously mutually empathically and spiritually with a few phonecalls too, for two years before we met. Although he is married, He invited me to visit platonically and to help him with his work. During my stay, our connection deepened, and yes, sparks flew. We were instantly One in our thoughts and movements from the moment I walked in the house. Like two partners who have danced together all their lives and move across the dance floor seamlessly. It was clear that the love between us is there on ALL LEVELS. Leaving was very difficult and we both longed for each other. Of course we continue to be in touch. His wife is ill and he is her caretaker. He is a noble valiant soul and loyal even though his wife does not speak the language of Spiritual things the way he and I do. We click and the sky’s the limit on our deep expansive fulfilling connection. He is a pure being and a total gentleman. An affair is out of the question. We are both old souls and very wise and intelligent.
    And yet, I know he would love to be with me.

    Your article helps me to understand that most Soulmates do not end up together but I have to wonder why that is. We both fell in love with each other for all the rit reasons and not being together I find at this point very depressing.
    I haven’t had the courage to discuss the topic directly with him, nor has he said the word Soulmate, but we have both told each other we love one another. Ot’s a very deep pure Love..the most complete I have ever known.

    As if God made a soul, split it in two, put one half in a male body and the other in a female body and now, at the end of the old paradigm era, we have come back together as One.
    I wonder if he could allow himself to be with me and have sacred physical union by our lovemaking. Surely it has been written in the stars.
    His poor wife is clueless as to who is really is as a Soul whereas Who he IS is all I see.

    I do feel I need to be brave and talk about it and suggest time together. I know he wants it too. ONLY LOVE IS REAL.


    Thank you for these wonderful articles.



  • Vicky April 11, 2016, 8:21 pm

    These days, I have been thinking about the “soulmate” term a lot and did research. People say différent things and it’s hard for me to really figure out what is a soulmate.

    6 months ago, I met someone with who I’m experiencing love for the first time. Mutual love. We are the same, We say it to each other all the time. There is no jugement, We are truly ourselves together, without any pressure or trying to impression the other. I can feel my love for him all over my body and my mind. Yes, it’s beautiful. But We can’t be together as a real couple. And it’s killing me. What is happening is that he has a girlfriend and a 2 years old daughter with her. The woman was illégal so they sent her back with the child in her original country. The man I’m seeing is trying his best to make them come back to live with him like before.

    One week after they left, 6 months ago, I met him. He met me. We met each other. And it was, and it’s still, powerful. I promise. It’s weird from the start cause he is EXACTLY the ideal man for me physically, like.. All the little details I find attractive, he has it. And I am exactly his type of woman… Plus, we knew immediately that there was a soul connection, far away from the “only physical” attraction. At first, it was so strong that he was losing reason and we were sleeping with each other, do everything together, like a real couple. But We never said I love you to each other cause he’s still saying that to the mother of his child. Every second of the day he is texting her to have news from his daughter, but when I am with him he forgets to reply when she says love things or he just asks about his daughter, even though he can not really get over the mother of his child cause she will always be really important to him and I am aware of that. And, they want to come back here, but the little girl cannot come here alone, the mother would never let that happen. It’s really important for him to have a family. It can takes months before she comes back, we never know when… And it’s killing me litteraly. I even think I am becoming crazy. I feel like a pig that knows he is gonna be killed… Its intense to say that, I know, but… I really anticipate this day, but at the same time, I love him sooooooooooo much than I will be happy for him to see his daughter again. The woman is older and seem mature. He is 10 years younger than her, and he told be that the daughter was not planned. He was rushed to be in a relationship but he really wanted the child, without knowing the woman really well. Often, they are fighting. With insults. It seems like it doesnt work out… But I dont want to be a bitch about it. I dont want to judge. I feel compassion for him. I want to give him everything. When We are not with each other, it’s like a part of our soul is missing. We litterally complète each other in every way. Its so strong. I would like to kiss him all the time for no reason but I cant cause it would be just like We are together and We can not be cause of the other woman.

    Sometimes, she video calls him while I am here (We are always together when We don’t work.) and want to see the whole appartment cause she feels someone is hiding or something is wrong. I feel so bad and stressed and it reminds me that I dont want to be in that situation cause when she comes back, I will be alone but not him. So why torturing myself like this? O tried to leave for good. A lot of times since 6 months. But Ive never been able. Every time, I felt so alone. It was hurting me physically.

    I want to say that I love myself , I think I have so many qualities and an ambitious future. I want to travel. And sing! My two passions. So I dont think I can say that I am an affective dépendant. He and I, reallllllly, have something between us.

    I’m wondering about what really is a soulmate. These days, We both say that we probably are. He said that first. But all the pain that everyone will get from us being together … We just cant be together. The months or even the days are counted before she comes back. Maybe 3-4 months… I want to enjoy and take advantage of love before. I want to taste that love. I want to feel satiated of it. But I know I will never be. I can’t live fully the present moment cause my mind can’t stop, every second of my life since 6 months, thinking about the day she comes back and We will have to say good-bye.

    Its so weird that all that happens, its a fucked up situation. Many signs too, like .. We got a call to work at the same hospital. In two shops in front of each other. We both didnt know We sent CVs at this hospital. Its really more than a coïncidence.

    Im conclusion, I heard that soulmates are like guardian angels. We are there to make the other become a better version of himself. I think the fact that We met right after the woman left is a sign that I am his guardian angel while he is in this loneliness pass. Cause he has no other friends in the city I live in. He makes me realize so many things about myself and life. The first person that I feel changing my life. In 20 years.

    But if We go so well together, why life cannot make me be with him? What is the meaning of that? Everything happens for a reason, We say. What is the reason for that?

    What is the real goal of a soulmate? Will I be with someone that I love less than him? Will I be able to meet someone with who I connect so well, and I am physically attracted as well as with him? I am so lost. I am afraid to live all my life with him haunting my mind all the time.

    Thank you for helping me understand all this!!!

  • Selina Khan April 13, 2016, 1:51 pm

    Hi Vicky,

    Yes everything is for a reason but it doesn’t always make sense to us why things have to happen the way that they do. Many times there is a higher spiritual purpose to our experiences that our human minds can’t comprehend. What’s most important is not what other people tell you in terms of what a soulmate is, but how you experience that connection. That becomes your truth.

    Sometimes we meet people in life that are so perfect for us but circumstances are that you cannot be together. I find that in these cases, they are there to teach us, to show us the capacity of our hearts, sometimes as a catalyst for change for ourselves and themselves. Sometimes it’s necessary for us to have two different paths so that we can each experience what’s best for our soul growth.

    It is possible to find another person who you choose to open your heart to. The bond may be different, but your capacity to connect in love is possible.

    All the best,

  • Kimberly May 20, 2016, 2:41 pm

    I have had an experience like this. It started in 5K! He noticed me first. Time went on and I didn’t think much of him during my school days. I saw his picture in the yearbook and I thought he was so cute!! Did not think much more of him. Got on Facebook, saw his profile, thought he lived in Hawaii, lo and behold come to find out, he lives in a small town near me!!
    I moved from the Atlanta to Macon,Ga. I looked at his profile for years and was too shy to ask for his friendship. I finally did last year. We were making comments and sharing like a ping pong game! I think he had a crush on me but did not know what to do since I am married. He does have a grown son from years ago. I investigated and his previous cities where he has lived were close to where I had lived at times!! These are small off the wall places. No one in our whole previous high school has lived where we have lived. I feel that God has been trying to bring us together for a while. I am married, it is more like a friendship type attraction. I knew I was getting older so I got married and I was tired of looking! When I see his photos, I have a fire burning inside of me!! I feel like he was supposed to be the one!! When I hear his voice in videos, his voice makes me want him so badly! I have seen comments on his FB about him being alone I see other comments about other feelings that I go through sometimes. He is lost and disturbed because he missed his path….US! I am imprisioned in my own way and so is he..long story.

  • Kim May 26, 2016, 12:39 am

    Hi I meant a guy at my job 20 years ago. I was already madly in love with my high school sweetheart at the time never had feelings for anyone but him until now. I was introduced to him he never said anything and was looking down working and I instantly felt something that just took me by surprise and then he was formally introduced at a meeting and he said when he saw me he felt the same. We kept out feelings a secret for 10 years and now that there finally out in the open we have been fighting them for another 10 years either I am married then I get divorced and then he gets married afterwards then I get remarried and now he is divorced we both know there is something to these feelings we can’t seem to walk away from

  • lily June 3, 2016, 5:41 pm

    I met my soul mate 7 years ago we lives thousands of miles apart but always know when the other needed each other we were also both married with children so have never took it farther. about a month ago I fell hurt myself fairly bad about a week ago I got the call he was dead , same day I feel an emptiness but know we weren’t meant for each other this time but it does not lessen the hurt of loosing that connection. I love my husband but know he never understood this so am grieving very privately is there any thing that will help.

  • Selina Khan June 6, 2016, 12:04 pm

    Hi Lily,

    I am so sorry to hear that your soul mate passed. As you are so very energetically connected, I’m not surprised that you fell the same day he died. It’s hard to remember that you are never really disconnected as we are all one. Our minds are conditioned to see the world as solid and impermanent.

    Grief takes time. Be patient with yourself and kind to yourself. If you need support, seek a grief counsellor. Time does heal.

    All the best,

  • Melonee June 11, 2016, 11:11 am

    My situation is different slightly that I would like to break the bond I have with my soulmate. Are there ways which help break the bond or the invisible connection you have with your soulmate?

  • Selina Khan June 13, 2016, 3:12 pm

    Hi Melonee,

    Yes there are some things you can do that may help although you will always be connected spiritually on some level. You can use techniques to let go of block the energetic pull between you.

    Every time your soulmate pops into your head or you start thinking about him, push the thought and energy away and imagine a white light bubble or pane of glass around you or between the two of you where his energy cannot get through.

    Do cord cutting meditations regularly until you feel/see no more connection.

    Forgive. It’s the best way to find peace.

    Meditate to find out the reason this person came into your life. On a spiritual level, there is something to understand and/or learn from. When you can get understanding, it can often diffuse the emotions that help to energize the connection.

    I hope this helps you.


  • Melonee June 14, 2016, 8:32 pm

    Yes selina this does help and I am glad I found this website. My soulmate works with me. I was in a situation where I did not know he existed. Then he offered me a position where I would work very closely with him. We would spend hours together and in a month he went from not being anything to me to everything. Then two and a half month afte this began he said a few things which showed me that he does not trust me So I wrote him an email saying that I will not be able to work in this position. Since then he became very rude to me hurting me immensely on purpose. Recently he has been trying to prefer another girl in the department and prefering her over me and hurting me more. I feel this deep sadness and have difficulty sleeping and either take melatonin or alcohol to sleep. I cry often as I do not know why is he behaving like this.

  • Melonee June 14, 2016, 8:45 pm

    Also can you please explain the cord cutting meditations again?

  • Selina Khan June 22, 2016, 8:23 pm

    Hi Melonee,

    People do many things out of fear. There are only two energies in the world – love and fear. Love results in more love, kindness, compassion, empathy, understanding, consideration. Fear results in anger, betrayal, hate, spite, vindictiveness. It is difficult to choose love when one’s conditionings in life has taught one to shut the heart down. If the heart is not open enough, we tend to treat others and ourselves in unkind ways. I’m so sorry that this gentleman wasn’t at the stage of his spiritual evolution to offer you an open heart.

    Try to open your heart to yourself so you can treat yourself with kindness. You will be able to see him in a different light when you cherish yourself so deeply and perhaps you will not see his actions as attacking you so much as the behaviour of someone who is afraid to meet himself within his own heart.


  • Selina Khan June 22, 2016, 8:28 pm


    1. Take some breaths to relax. In your mind’s eye, imagine the person standing across from you.
    2. Look all around you to see if there are any energetic cords you see that attach between the two of you. Check in front, both sides of your body, behind you, around your head and from your feet too.
    3. Cut the cord in any way you wish – with whatever you imagine – scissors, a knife, or pull it out of you.
    4. Put the end of the cord that connects to the person into white light (however you imagine is fine). Now they can take energy from there instead of you.
    5. Pull out any remaining cord end from you and see yourself heal to perfection where that cord was.
    6. Repeat until all cords are gone.
    7. Open your eyes.

    Repeat on a different day as sometimes if you are not completely ready to let go, the cords will reattach. Keep doing this until they don’t.

    Hope this helps!


  • Melonee July 6, 2016, 4:01 pm

    I just realized that I was wrong and he feels the same way as I do. I feel this deep sadness as I still can not spend enough time with him and miss him a lot. I wonder why I had to meet him at this stage in my life when nothing can come out of it and it just makes me more miserable. He just does not want to discuss this anymore as it affects his functioning at work. I have to respect that and give him breathing space. But why is the question which keeps coming to my mind all the time. It’s a distraction and comes in the way of everything I do. I have started looking for other jobs but then I am worried how will I function if I do not see him at all. But working at the same place as him and not being able to spend enough time with him makes me very miserable and to add to this misery when I meet him and we work together it leaves me wanting more of him. Simply boils down to emotional torture. Than the question is why.

  • lovely leo66 August 30, 2016, 9:17 pm

    I am married. The man who is my soulmate is also married. He and I have a connection I really can’t describe. When our eyes meet, it sends tingles throughout my body. I know he won’t leave his wife for me and I won’t leave my husband for him. Yet, we’ve had this attraction to each other for a few years now. I avoided him for one month and thought I was going to be okay. However, one day, I could not avoid him. He made it a point for me to see him. All we could do was stare into each other’s eyes. I want to get over this attraction because we can’t do anything with these feelings. I hate that he is constantly on my mind, making me lose my focus on God. How do I get past this?

  • Selina Khan August 31, 2016, 11:51 am

    Hi Lovely Leo66,

    A couple of techniques that may help you. The point of these exercises are to break the energetic connection between the two of you and also to help redirect the neural pathways that are habitually thinking about him. First, every time you think of him, consciously push the thought away, envision a pane of glass between you and him in your mind. This is to block the energy.

    Second, if you are in his presence, use the same technique but see the pane of glass between the two of you. If it’s easier or more effective for you, you can visualize a white bubble around you with mirrors facing out. The intention is to bounce his energy back to him.

    Lastly, I suggest you try the cord cutting exercise I describe in one of my blogs. It will not necessarily end the relationship but it may help you to not be as energetically connected.


  • lovely leo66 September 5, 2016, 2:29 pm

    Hi Selena! I constantly dream about him too. The other night I dreamt that I was attending an outdoor event. I felt his presence before I even saw him. By the time I saw him, he had already seen me and was staring at me. When our eyes met, he looked away. Last night I dreamt that he asked my deceased father if he could date me. My daddy told him yes, as long as he treats me right. So, yes, I will try those techniques. Thank you so much.

  • Joan November 20, 2016, 5:46 pm

    I met this man 19 years ago. We have a very stronge emotional & spiritual connection. It is hard to explain it. There is such a deep connection in all aspects. We dated for awhile and went our separate ways. (I have always felt the connection when we are apart). We seem to pop up in each other’s lives when one or the other is going through some difficult times. (My daughter calls it our voodoo:) ). When we connect or are in each other’s lives again it’s like we were never apart no matter how long it has been. There is such a calmness about it. An unconditional love and acceptance between us. I call him my soulmate is that what you would call it also?

  • Selina Khan December 7, 2016, 7:46 pm

    Hi Joan,

    What a lovely connection the two of you have! Yes, this would be one of your soulmates.


  • Foolish36 December 18, 2016, 12:43 pm

    I’m glad I found this thread. I read through all of the comments and I feel less alone and more empowered to deal with this.

    I met my soulmate two years ago while training for work. His plant closed and mine was in transition. At one point I met his eyes and there was a tangible click, something resonated. I ignored it, thought it was just lust or attraction. He’s four years younger than me after all, and I’ve only dated women in my life (I’m female).
    A year later I was transferred to his plant, and two months ago he became my direct manager. I’ve wanted to work with him since we met, and it finally happened. The connection drives me crazy now though, much worse than before, and I started to suspect it was more than chemistry. I look forward to seeing him, texting, even if it’s all just work related. Two weeks ago we were drinking for the first time together and he told me that he loved me, and that I was amazing. I immediately thought that he meant platonic affection only, and maybe that’s all it was. I’m older, less attractive, and not all that.
    After reading this, I’m wondering if it meant more than that. However, I’ve been in an 8-year relationship with a good person who is in some ways a type of soul mate.
    I realize I’ll have to let this go, and hope there is another ending for us in another life. It’s painful though, and all of this happened shortly after a deep spiritual awakening.
    To make it weirder, i told the universe all that I wanted was a beautiful man to tell me he loved me, and it happened a few weeks later.
    So complicated. I have a lot to think about, including my sexuality. Thanks for this post.

  • smita December 19, 2016, 2:52 am

    I ve married my soulmate. There is lot to say but will cut short and come to my point. I want to know if its possible to stay away from my soulmate in the next life. Dont want to fall in love or marry again this soul mate, though i love like hell n will continue loving till the eternity. But just dont want to cross paths again n stay away as far as i can. Or is it necessary to meet the soulmates in every life?

  • Divine December 21, 2016, 9:10 pm

    Hi ,
    I fell in love at a very young age with my soulmate, for him to was love at 1st sight…he loved me 1st…
    We got connected through phone, we chat like every hour of the day, he understands me like no other. We were into relationship but as pen pals…
    At a time I got scared , it wasn’t physical but it felt so real, I fell in love with him , became too attached my phone , always chating and smiling , the connection was so pure and true even thou it wasn’t physical… Spiritually , emotionally, mentally I derived so much satisfaction from the communition..
    ( I remember my school mates telling me to stop and face reality )

    Well… I woke up one day and cut him off, cut off all constant connections, too scared, we arranged meeting each other but non of us really sacrificed taking the risk…

    He said he tried to reconnect, truthfully I can recall he did.. Sent messages that I intensionally ignored , ( I look and his messages and be like I need something real)

    After 3-4years , he sent out search party for me because I relocated to a different town, once day a lady worked up to me and told me she’s been looking for me and that my soulmate told her to search for me … Truthfully , I was too stupid and I didn’t realise that I was running away from my true love all because I didn’t want to loose what we had for years over the phone… I was scared that wen we met face to face ,it won’t be as nice and pure and it is during our pen pal days …
    (I still didn’t go for it )

    After some months I got married, to a guy I don’t love . the man has been all over me and I felt OK he loves me and that is the most important thing …(since he loves me ,he will worship and spoil me and with time I will love him too, well I asked some pastors and they said he’s my husband ,on that bases I finalised my decisions yo marry him) I had doubts but I didn’t listen to my mind, the guy I am married to can’t even turn me on, pls permit me to say that… No connection at all.. He’s just the wrongest dude of all times … I made the biggest mistake of my life, the so called husband is a womanizer, self centered beast … I had the worst experience of my life …(during this marital crisis period I never stopped thinking about how my soulmate pen pal relationship was, then I realised that u don’t know how it turns out unless,U give it a try.. I contacted him but pretended to be happy and den he was still single , he practically warned me not to contact him again)
    After 3years of marriage I got separated and I had a sweet son…

    After 7months of separation, and on a Bright and faithful day my soulmate asked me for friend request , I accepted but didn’t say anything… He said nothing until after like 7days or more .. We got into talking and all .. He said he got married like months back, we chatted and chatted and chatted made me remember the old times when we chat and feel each others presence like it was real, through the phone it was so pure and real.(back den we had so much satisfaction dating over the fine) But this time we try to be responsible married people…

    After some weeks I opened up to him about my 7months separation and told him alittle abt my hurrible experience, he said his marriage wasn’t good too, he was broken and rush into the marriage and it seems like his wife forced him into it … That after the marriage he realised it was a mistake, we talked and he decided to come over for a visit …
    That was actually the 1st time am sitting close to him, we drove to a bar talked, just a touch of his hand on my shoulder and arm give me that Chill, goose pimples and its a feeling that feels familiar… It was like my emotions was awoken , I kept cool .. We sat and couldnt take our hands off each other … It was so pure and real like it has happened before.. He’s eyes shows love and want… Those 9years emotions was brought to life, exceptional and true …

    He was will to caught of his marriage, but guess what (his wife took in ).. I tried to keep up but I nearly went mad , jealous and insecure …I am very passionate person couldn’t deal with actually having to be the mistress .
    I was angry at me and I just had to block him again after the birth of this son… Still he keeps loving me and coming back … He said from the 1st day he same me 9years ago that has loved me everh day of his life..

    I always fight with him out of anger of not having him all to my self. I live with the blame of pushing him into marrying another woman other than who he have loved all the days of his love life ..

    I totally changed to a hurrible person trying to hate him and also make him hate me… I felt is the easiest and best thing to do, I don’t see him truly walking out of his marriage because of his son, he’s a very passionate and sensitive man…

    I’ve cried so much for the past 6years expecially for the past 2years of knowing that I lost my soulmate CU’s of ignorance.

    Now , we are in good terms but not sextual, its bad that hearing this voice and chatting with make me happy… I call him my Vibes…

    I’ve googled and read a lot of articles ,about how many times one can fall in love ,I don’t know if I block him out of my life the third time where it will lead us … I knw and I am 1000% sure he loves me , maybe more than I do love him but I am also 1000% sure tat I knw truely love him…
    I’ve wished we gave it a try 9years back.. I’ve tot about my possibilities of movjng on … I am so scare of wasting me time trying to build or find another love that will be stronger than what ifeel for my soulmate… I won’t settle for less …. I might remain single for the rest of my life as I finally got divorced months back…

    I don’t knw what to do… My heart and eyes are so swollen … I am bitter , lonely and sad …
    I don’t even want to find love , because I don’t think anything can be better than what I have with my soulmate…
    He said its me that is getting him confused ,that I am unstable and I understand that … But I feel he will end up leaving me stranded , if I put all my trust in him.. Things are different now, he has a family…

    If I don’t get advise here .. I am glad I shared this experience… I need help don’t tell me to see a therapist pls.
    Thank you ..
    Pls sent me a private mail please .. I need someone to talk to.
    Thank you

  • Erin January 4, 2017, 11:35 am

    (COULD this in fact be kharmic in a way I’m not seeing?)
    I’ve got myself into this exact predicament…at least I THINK I’m living it. I was getting ready to leave my husband, with whom I for SURE have a kharmic relationship with (SO horrible, I’ve wondered if I didn’t set his favorite kitten on fire in a past life)! And the LAST thing on Earth I wanted is another man, another relationship, because even though my husband is a total abusive turd, I chose him. Me. So there’s obviously something I need to be fixing, right? I need to work on ME (& rationally I STILL can feel this way). And then…
    Out of the clear blue, this guy starts up a flirty conversation. And when I say this guy came out of the clear blue, what I mean is; he’s a good friend of my husbands, a married friend mind you, I’d never had the chance to aquatint or speak w/ before. And even though it was against my beliefs I allowed myself to utilize this person, to get me through the blackest part of my life, that’s a large statement, but a true one. I even made up some “rules of engagement”. The largest of which was, once I left my husband, it would end between us. There was NEVER supposed to be emotions. Just sex…but then something happened. For both of us…and it’s like I can almost pin point WHEN it happened. We actually had a whole night together. So it wasn’t just a “45 minute round trip Emotional Vacation” if you get my drift. It’s like I could see inside him, and know there was a space there reserved just for me (literally, I had this visualization). It was a recognition beyond anything I’ve previously experienced.
    We don’t talk about him leaving his wife. I don’t think he wants the burden of the pain and drama because she’s not a horrible person (and it’s painful to know she’s completely innocent and deserves NONE of this), but he is unhappy… so I’m left wondering. Is this kharmic? It doesn’t FEEL kharmic. It feels like-perfect stillness in my head, heart and soul when 1 or all 3 have only ever been questioning, confused & confounded. Man…but I don’t want to be a home wrecker.
    Since this started when I think of walking away, while no one’s experienced the pain of betrayal and all the sorrow that goes with it? I feel incomplete somehow… Like a starving person who’s finally been well feed for a short few weeks and then has to return to their former state of constant hunger. There’s a rebound effect that takes place. I was looking for this feeling, while never having actually experienced it… now that I have? That longing is even greater. Make sense? I guess I don’t need advice. There are only three options… except COULD this in fact be kharmic in a way I’m not seeing?

  • Erin January 4, 2017, 11:36 am

    (COULD this in fact be kharmic?)
    I’ve got myself into this exact predicament…at least I THINK I’m living it. I was getting ready to leave my husband, with whom I for SURE have a kharmic relationship with (SO horrible, I’ve wondered if I didn’t set his favorite kitten on fire in a past life)! And the LAST thing on Earth I wanted is another man, another relationship, because even though my husband is a total abusive turd, I chose him. Me. So there’s obviously something I need to be fixing, right? I need to work on ME (& rationally I STILL can feel this way). And then…
    Out of the clear blue, this guy starts up a flirty conversation. And when I say this guy came out of the clear blue, what I mean is; he’s a good friend of my husbands, a married friend mind you, I’d never had the chance to aquatint or speak w/ before. And even though it was against my beliefs I allowed myself to utilize this person, to get me through the blackest part of my life, that’s a large statement, but a true one. I even made up some “rules of engagement”. The largest of which was, once I left my husband, it would end between us. There was NEVER supposed to be emotions. Just sex…but then something happened. For both of us…and it’s like I can almost pin point WHEN it happened. We actually had a whole night together. So it wasn’t just a “45 minute round trip Emotional Vacation” if you get my drift. It’s like I could see inside him, and know there was a space there reserved just for me (literally, I had this visualization). It was a recognition beyond anything I’ve previously experienced.
    We don’t talk about him leaving his wife. I don’t think he wants the burden of the pain and drama because she’s not a horrible person (and it’s painful to know she’s completely innocent and deserves NONE of this), but he is unhappy… so I’m left wondering. Is this kharmic? It doesn’t FEEL kharmic. It feels like-perfect stillness in my head, heart and soul when 1 or all 3 have only ever been questioning, confused & confounded. Man…but I don’t want to be a home wrecker.
    Since this started when I think of walking away, while no one’s experienced the pain of betrayal and all the sorrow that goes with it? I feel incomplete somehow… Like a starving person who’s finally been well feed for a short few weeks and then has to return to their former state of constant hunger. There’s a rebound effect that takes place. I was looking for this feeling, while never having actually experienced it… now that I have? That longing is even greater. Make sense? I guess I don’t need advice. There are only three options… except COULD this in fact be kharmic in a way I’m not seeing?

  • Sofs January 19, 2017, 8:45 am

    Hi Guys,
    I see a lot of you are in the same boat and would greatly appreciate any help!
    Im 21 years old and I met my soul mate when I was 18, i’m certain. We only had one day together cause he lives across the country, it was the most out of the blue and intense experience i’ve ever had and was supposed to only be a meet up for a coffee but it lasted for the all day, and his flight back home was the next morning. When it finished I was so overwhelmed, we connected on every level and I felt like I’d known him my entire life. I even got deja vu which is apparantly a sign as well, and I know it was mutual.
    We agreed not to speak again as it would ruin it over text, and online etc. and talked about “meeting in 5 or 10 years” when the time is right. At the time I felt so peaceful because I was so certain that I really would see him in 5 or 10 years, I just knew I would.
    In that time I’ve met someone else and we’re in love but I constantly have my soulmate in the back of my head. It’s been 3 years and I think of him still on a weekly basis even though we’re not even talking. I know i’m young and part of me feels like because i’m so young I must be over reacting and can’t really know but deep down I’m so certain. I never even believed in soul mates until this experience.
    HOW have you managed to get them out of your head and continue with your current partner or just move on in your life? I love my boyfriend so much and I don’t want to leave just because of this “idea” of my soulmate in my mind, who i may or may not ever see again. I guess I just struggle to be in the moment sometimes when I still have that “what if” of what’s going to happen 10 years down the line. I’m not planning on getting married or settling down or anything right now, i’m still so young I just want to fully be present with my boyfriend. I’m learning so much from him and he loves me so much. I just feel terrible for even having any of these thoughts in the first place and I just want to push them out of my head and have them come back when / if the right time ever comes. It’s stopping me from truly being “free” I guess. I worry I’ll never be able to be truly happy with anyone until I at least get to see what being with my “soulmate” is like, which makes me feel a bit sick because that chance may never come and then i’ll just never be at peace. I was so certain I’d see him again the year after I met him, but because it’s been 3 years I’m starting to doubt it all again.

    Any advice or just help of anyone in the same position would be greatly appreciated 🙁

  • Selina Khan January 19, 2017, 5:45 pm

    Hi Smita,

    No, as far as I understand it, it is not necessary to meet soulmates in every life. I assume you mean the romantic soulmate as we have many soulmates in our lives, some of which are friends, family members, etc and not only romantic.


  • Ine February 23, 2017, 10:08 pm

    I met my soulmate 5 years ago at language course. I had finished long time relationship right before I met him. I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend. I just wanted to enjoy my life, travel etc. Then he crossed my path. We had that connection from the beginning. I knew he is married, have baby and another one on the way. We just talked at school every day. We had so much in common and seemed like I knew him all my life. We both knew there is no future for us because he loves his family and doesn’t want to hurt them.
    He feels so comfortable with me because I don’t judge him, just try to understand. He also said If he had never met his wife he would love to be with me. Our connection was so intensive that we start texting a lot, seeing each other when he could, hiding this from other friends, and sleeping together. It’s been 5 years and we still can’t stop. He even moved to different country. I did the same thing. We were still in touch this whole time. He just moved back with his family and we are seeing each other again. We’ve had so many weird situations that cut our paths, but every single time there was a miracle that put us back together.
    I just can’t find answer to my question: why this perfect guy crossed my path, the guy I already love, and I know I will never be with? I don’t want to destroy his family but is so hard to finish this everything. We just have so much fun together

  • AMB April 7, 2017, 12:31 pm

    I empathize with each person in this very long stream. I came across this because I am in such a confused state myself. I am a psychic person myself, I do this type of work for a living. I’m happily married with children. I’ve recently encountered someone who I felt immediately drawn to. Felt as if I’d known him. Felt as if my heart was burst wide open. I asked my guides why this was and how did I know him? I dreamt that night that in a far away past life, I was promised to someone in arranged married, and I was in love with someone else who also was promised to someone else. We attempted to escape our village together only to be brought back to a dark ending. Meeting this person in this life, I felt my soul breathe out a sigh of relief “There you are! You’re okay!”. I’m currently working through whether a friendship is healthy in this life. The feelings may be too strong. I’m trying to understand what we may be intended to learn from one another in this life. And in the meantime I keep replaying Erykah Badu’s song “Next Lifetime”!

  • grneyedgurl13 April 24, 2017, 10:50 am

    The person I have now believe was my “soul-mate”, I have known my entire life. Our parents were friends so we grew up around each other. I have always felt this strange connection between us, since I can honestly remember. It’s almost like something about him terrifies me to a extent so I have always tried to keep him at a distance. We lived around the same area but always went to different schools growing up so we had never been steadily in each others lives. I got compelled one day many years ago, completely out of the blue, to look him up on social media. I wish I could say I saw something out there about him from possible mutual friends, but nope I literally got compelled to search for his name and boom there he was…. He looked a little different than I remembered but still seemed the same somehow. We exchanged a few minor chit chats to catch up but I was in relationship with someone else at the time so it was kept rather light and friendly. That relationship ended the following spring after we had reconnected on social media (that ex was a habitual cheater). He contacted me within days of seeing the “relationship status” change wanting to meet up. I honestly remember so many silly details about that night to this day that it freaks me out. I can tell you exactly where I was when we texted me to meet up with him and friends out at a bar, what I was wearing that night, who I was with before I met up with him… Damn near everything… The biggest thing is I still remember the feeling I got the whole drive over to that bar. It’s like I had something in the pit of my stomach telling me to I had to go and see him. This is when everything shifted, you can just imagine what eventually then happened (not that night, but after)… First of all you have to understand, I had dated guys here and there, but only 1 serious boyfriend. I never really got around much since I was really reserved, hell I had friends calling me a prude all the time. I even had guys dump me after a few dates because I wouldn’t do anything except kissing. After that night we then started spending a lot of time together, I still tried to keep my wall up but it was crumbling before me. I got to a point eventually that I couldn’t keep my hands off of him at times which was completely unlike me at all. It all felt right… Like it was meant to be, so I let myself go…Gave into it… Then he strayed. I saw it coming like an unavoidable collision, but still didn’t want to believe it. He met someone else that I guess he felt was a greener pasture than me. I was completely devastated and we had a very huge falling out and have yet to speak since… I lost myself after, I was never the same person ever again. I drank my feelings away to numb everything when I wasn’t a big drinker before at all… I had to sit there and watch him go play house and fall in love with someone else…It wasn’t fair and I didn’t want to believe it… It turned me into a hateful monster. That was the longest year of my life. Then I met someone through mutual friends… He was older than me so he was past the partying stage and kind of provided me a much needed wake up call. He calmed my chaos and brought a sense of peace and purpose back to me. I fully believe he is my life partner and I love him and love him for the peace he brings me. I moved on, got married, and was happy…

    Now, I am struggling again though… I had a dream about a year ago that drastically shifted something in me. It’s almost like an idea was planted in my mind and it’s spread like wildfire. My life, as I knew it changed. I had a dream one night about him for the first time since I met my life partner. It was extremely profound and I woke up something in me that I cannot explain. The dream was intense, and I woke up in tears. It was the two of us, me and this person from my past, outside with all of these cars and people around. He grabbed my hand, looked at me, said to me “you have to forgive me…” Right after that point, he was then being held back by two men to then almost being carried away just kept yelling at me “you HAVE to forgive me… I love you…You HAVE to forgive me”… I have had several dreams since this one that have a similar type of context but this is the dream that literally shifted something in my life. One of the dreams, literally freaked the crap out of me because it was almost like it was from his point of view. It was him going through a box of pictures that were in a closet looking for a particular picture. I could feel the almost sense of panic that he couldn’t find what he was looking for. Then it’s almost like as he realized he wasn’t “alone”, I somehow like kicked out of his mind and woke up.

    At this point, he is damn near all I can think about anymore that it’s is driving me crazy. I have a content life and I fought hard to get here that I know he could destroy it all that it terrifies me. I have tried to reach out to him several times just to see if I am not alone in this, and he chooses to still remain silent. I have noticed so many coincidences over the last year that have also strongly attributed to my conflicted nature about my life now. I could go on and on but that is something I have continuously kept to myself, but they are so strange and not explainable. One I will say is that I had a mutual friend of me and this man become more involved in my life before this all shifted, and since that dream I have felt like I am going through a mid-life crisis and I am too young for that but something just feels “off” in my life now. After that dream (which I never told her about), she started intermingling more closely with them again for some reason. So to protect my life and myself, I cut the cord. I built an entire life without him in it after he decided not to want to be with me. I do not want to jeopardize that. This is where it gets even stranger, I have other friends I started spending more time with once I severed that friendship because of him, that have now been including other mutual friends of his into this inner circle. It’s like the more I fight to sever that connection the harder it fights against me to keep it. It drives me nuts… I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I try so hard to distract myself from it that it’s like it fights harder to stay on my mind. I am lost and confused at this point. Please help…

  • Shroeder October 15, 2017, 2:09 pm

    There is a great secret in my life. This secret is buried in my heart, shrouded with a veil of silence. The fact that no one in my life knows this also hurts.
    The most important person in my life is someone I am not with now, have only been with for a few scattered years in this life, have never lived with in this life, see at the most once a year at a mutual party, have virtually no contact with, and seem destined not to be with in this life. However, not a day goes by without me adrift in reverie about her. She is the one soul with whom I feel completely at ease. For me she is the essence of white light and love. Being in her arms feels like returning home – to a place I long to be, much like in the Greek Tragedy The Odyssey, when Odysseus returns to Penelope.
    This intense feeling of “coming home” when I used to be near her will never change, nor do I wish it to change, for the realization of her existence has furthered my belief in God as a Christian. (even though I am breaking the 9th commandment, please don’t judge 🙁

    My love for her is permanent… Unmovable… Unconditional. Let me be clear: this is not a Disney movie with gentle romantics twirling buttercups. This is intense, burning, uncontrollable fervor that hurts and causes me unspeakable pain since we have spent most of our lives apart and I couldn’t make things work when we were together. I have had to work hard to function in life and seek happiness without her. This is something I labor at every day, and I am not always successful at it.
    We just reconnected this month after 20 years apart. We are both unhappily married. But If I left my spouse it would devastate her – so I can’t imagine doing that, as Hamlet says “conscious makes cowards of us all.”
    Whoever said love is suffering – probably some Russian guy – knows

  • Selina Khan October 26, 2017, 2:25 pm

    Hi Shreoder,

    I agree, it was probably some Russian guy…you make me laugh! 🙂

    The one thing that somewhat helps, I find, is to know that this world is temporary and that we all meet again in another place when the time is right. Also, that until that time comes, we are always connected in our hearts to those we love.


  • Raj October 28, 2017, 12:29 pm

    My childhood friend recently come back in my life. First we met when we were in 5th grade. We played as kids together. She used love food made by my mother and I would food at their place. We were together for almost 4 years. They moved to other city. We somehow met couple of more times after. I always felt a bonding with her even at that young age. I think we always spirituality connected. We never into physical relationship. We always had pious feeling for eachother.
    Finally my parents also moved to their city due to their job. I somehow found her address and went to see her and her family. I came to know that she recently got engaged. It was an arranged marriage. I was in University completing my graduation in other city. So I didn’t get a chance to talk my heart out to her. Just couple weeks before her marriage she gave me a hint that I could have been her first choice. It was a hint. I didn’t ask her if she really meant. It was very painful to see her going away from my life. I then realized she was my soul mate and I have lost her forever.
    Later I also married to another beautiful woman. It was a love marriage. I always share my first love in my heart with my wife. Everyday I would always remember my first live. Just could not forget her.
    After 30 years, I am in my fifties, she returned again in my life. She is happily married and kind of me too.She asked me why didn’t I answered the hint she gave me 30 years ago during our WhatsApp chat. She asked me to meet her and say what we were supposed to say 30 years ago. We don’t want to spoil each other married life. Also we don’t want to have illicit sexual relationship.
    We still love each other. I am sure she is from my soul group or may be soul mate. We have something which bound us. I care for her dignity. I think it is Divine relation.
    Do you think we should meet?

  • Halen P. Jamas November 9, 2017, 1:55 pm

    I met my soulmate when i was 23 years old. We were both married. Had an amazing connection – my best friend. Life continued to happen and we communication for a couple of years. We reconnected when i was 35 and had an amazing 6 months. he was going through his divorce and i vowed to divorce my husband as well. but after 17 years of marriage and two kids as i got closer to filing, the fear and guilt stopped me. my soulmate is my best friend and knows me better than anyone else in this world. but he has two failed marriages and 3 grown boys that dont really speak to him. he hasnt been the best husband, father or man. he is now close to 50 years old and on a better path. trying to be a better person. i see that. but the fear of becoming his 3rd exwife and sacrificing my 17 year marriage and impacting so severely the lives of my children led me to calling it quits with him for good this week. my heart is broken, my soul is crushed, and my world is dim. i obsess over what could have been and the beautiful life full of joy love and laughter we could have shared – had our circumstances been different. in life, my first priority are my children. i need to hold it together and keep the family in tact for them. my husband is not a bad person and our relationship (hopefully) is not beyond repair. being an adult really sucks sometimes. wish i could just go play with my dolls. i do feel like we’ll always be connected – forever. i will pray for him and his happiness. that he finds a great woman who will take care of him and love him deeply for the rest of his days. I love you JP

  • anonymous December 4, 2017, 8:09 pm

    Congratulations to anyone here who followed their heart and is living happily with their soul mate, and a huge congratulations to other anonymous who was so brave to be with her soul mate and got engaged and may now be married. I wish you both all the health and happiness you deserve.

    After 15 years with a cruel controlling man, I’m finally free to leave him.
    I feel I have met my soul mate, but it’s so complicated, he lives overseas for a start, so I barely see him when he comes over, the timing is so strange I would see the numbers 1111 every time before I saw him, and read that is a soul mate number?, I’ve also been getting a lot of signs from the universe on this man, and not long after I split from my partner I was even engaged to, my soul mate says I love you to me as we approach and embrace for a hug, he’s always flirting with me and full of compliments, he was the same last year with me when he approached i felt like i was having an outer body experience, then when he left i felt like part of my soul was ripped out, it hurt so bad I was so lovesick i could not eat or sleep proper for near 7 months!
    I feel a magnetic pull bring our souls together every time we are near each other, but this year now I’m single, so much happened, he said I love you to me in a tone of voice as if realising he loves me, and told me he loves my accent and that I’m looking really beautiful, he gave me something personal of his, and i to him gifts i guess, we have hugged loads and i feel so comfortable with him also tingly and faint, yet our connection of communication does not have much time he’s a very busy man so we don’t talk to each other that much, we have not had a proper conversation sadly, we don’t know much about each others personal lives, it’s very complicated, i did over hear him mumble to himself he definitely feels spiritually connected to me, that stunned me, as it felt like he was saying he too feels we are soul mates?, and he’s been kinda flirtatious to an extreme of pressing his pelvis against mine, the thing is last i saw before we met again, he’s engaged, so i don’t know if he still is, or they split up, I’m so confused with his behaviour and scared since I’ve never loved anyone like this!
    Soul mates here mention being able to talk for hours, i could do that with my ex, but he was someone who only damaged my soul he’s so angry and negative.
    Can anyone here tell me if my soul mate from what I’ve said does feel the same?, even though we have contact I’m too nervous to talk to him, but i feel with every fibre of my being he’s the one I’ve been waiting for my whole life.
    I don’t know what to do!? Should I just confess to him i feel he is my soul mate?

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