Recently I spoke to a woman who had asked me for some guidance around letting go of a relationship. Although she felt an incredible magnetic pull to this man, she knew that he was struggling with issues that prevented him from being fully present to build a meaningful future together.
They had already had some time apart, and both were in new relationships with other people. Despite this, there was something that was holding her back from fully letting go. This meant that her energy was not 100% present to invest in her new relationship.
I suggested that she look to see if there were any etheric cords between them and cut them to help her move on. If you want to know how to do this or what etheric cords are, you can read my blog on cutting cords and relationship help.
The problem of letting go revolved around her view of cutting cords. “It just feels so cold to cut the cords like that,” she told me. I understood how she felt. I could sense guilt in her energy about cutting him off like that. She was used to being there for him just in case he needed her. If she cut the cords, wasn’t that just like abandoning him?
For those of us who are naturally drawn to help people, it can be hard for us to choose to put ourselves first. This is especially so when the people we try to help are so dependent on us.
Once someone told me that the best way we can help people is to stand back and help them. In other words, rather than rushing in to “save” them, we open up to them in compassion and understanding, but are there as a support and a guide.
By rushing in to “save” or “fix” someone, we often take away their power and the lesson they need to learn. We end up enabling them. Sometimes in order to help them, we need to release them. Release doesn’t necessarily mean that they leave your life. Sometimes it’s the release of the energetic pattern that forms the etheric cords.
Other times, changing the energetic pattern will mean that the relationship may dissolve, and indeed, this may be your intention. Either way, when energy cords exist, it may hinder both of you from moving on.
“See it as a gift”, I told her. What if cutting these cords helped him to move on and find his happiness? What if by doing this, she was giving him the gift of him choosing to empower himself?
I pointed out to her that it was not her responsibility whether he changed his life or not. However, she would be allowing him to be clear of the energy that she was adding to the situation that may have been enabling both of them to stay stuck
It’s also a gift to herself. Not only did she want him to be free to change and find happiness, but she wanted that for herself too.
When cord cutting is viewed in this way, it can feel like an act of release done for the benefit of both parties and may give the person cutting the cords a sense of closure, peace and strength. Then, without guilt because it will have been done for the highest good of both parties, it will be possible to fully invest in another relationship.