We all have relationships that bring us to tears, anger, and frustration. Sometimes we are sad because we don’t see things the same way. Relationships can be old or new, or not in our lives anymore and still have an emotional and mental effect on us. So how do we go about healing relationships?
One of my girlfriends asked me for some help in letting go of someone. She is very much attracted to him although she knows the relationship isn’t really right for her. Despite this, she had a hard time getting him out of her psyche.
I’ve taken an exercise that I learned in Sedona and modified it. In class, we did a Sufi exercise where we gaze into the eyes of another person with our right hand on their heart. They have their right hand on your heart.
You look into their eyes until you see the Divine Source within them and you hold that for a few minutes. And then you sing to each other – “You are my Beloved. I open my heart to you.” Sufi’s cultivate a deep love for God and God is referred to as the Beloved.
You are not singing to the human personality or to the other person. You are singing to the God Source that you see and connect with in the other person.
Each of you sends healing energy to the other’s heart center. It’s amazing how this affects people. When I did this exercise, I experienced that everyone was the same. We are all God. We are all the Divine. We are all the Beloved.
Fast forward to Toronto three weeks later. I’m cleaning my room because I created a new meditation corner. Sorting through books, I come across my high school yearbooks.
Flipping through all those old photos brought back memories – people I knew, people I befriended but had faded from my life, and people whom I didn’t get along with. There were people whom I hurt and others who hurt me. Oh those angst teenage years! Makes you wonder what you can learn from difficult relationships.
So I decided to do this exercise with the photos. I looked into the eyes of each person until I could sense or see the Divine Source within through the eyes. Then I sang, and opened my heart to connect and send healing.
Afterward, I would look at the photo and I could see them differently. I felt free and at peace with these people.
For those I felt I had hurt, I also asked for forgiveness and said I was sorry as I gazed into their eyes. It was the Beloved that answered. Not with words, but with love.
This was the exercise I suggested my girlfriend do. She used his Facebook picture and afterward let go of much sadness. That night, her dreams were vivid and provided her with more closure. Through these tools, she felt peace and closure.
If you are wanting to deepen and heal a relationship, you can do this same exercise. The examples we used have different intentions, however the technique is the same.
When you are disagreeing or trying to make yourself understood, or just open up to connect more deeply with another, you can focus on the Beloved and bring that energy into your discussion.
Even if you are on the phone or email, or before you talk with someone, you can picture them in your mind and do this exercise.
This technique can be used with anyone – male or female, adult or child. You can do it live with a partner, with a photo, or an image you hold in your mind. One or both people can participate. I hope it gives you another way to help center yourself in love.