Why Are You In My Life?


Sometimes we have people in our lives who are just wonderful loving people. Then there are those people who drive us insane. Ever wonder why we have certain people in our lives? Is it karmic? Is it just bad luck? Or maybe there’s a spiritual lesson to be learned.

Here are some thoughts on why they are there, and what you can do about it. Whether it’s friends, family, or coworkers that are driving you crazy, this may give you an understanding of what’s going on.

There are three main schools of thought as to why we have certain people in our lives. The first one is karma. Although karma means cause and effect — or you can think of it as action and consequence — karma has taken on a different meaning in some cultures.

Some people think of karma as punishment or reward for past deeds. These deeds may have been in this lifetime or they may have been in a past life or past lives. According to this thinking, you may have a horrible sister now because you have been horrible to her in a past life.

Sometimes it’s not person specific but situational. For example, maybe in a past life you were a thief and stole from people. So in this life, you may be swindled out of your money.

According to this school of thought, all of the people that you have difficulty with represent some sort of misdeed that you did. This viewpoint doesn’t resonate with me. I tend to see karma as true cause and effect, without the judgment attached to it.

The next school of thought comes from the new age movement. It goes like this. Before you reincarnate (or incarnate depending on your belief system), you decide what spiritual lessons you want to learn in a lifetime that you are about to enter.

Let’s say you decide to learn patience. You would approach someone in your soul group. “Hey, I want to learn some patience. Would you come down and incarnate with me? I need you to push my buttons.”

Then you might approach someone else in your soul group. Maybe you haven’t finished a lesson from your previous lifetime with this particular soul and you would like to see if you can have closure and heal the relationship in the lifetime that you’re about to enter.

Once you have everything lined up and everyone is in agreement — and by the way, you’ll be helping them learn lessons as well — you reincarnate. But there is a catch. Once you’re in your body, you forget everything that you just arranged.

Because you can’t remember, you have no idea why that particular person pushes your buttons. And you don’t remember why this other person has such an effect on you because you don’t remember not finishing something in a past life with them.

The third school of thought has to do with the law of attraction. This view point says that people are in your life because you attract them. Remember that the law of attraction says that it’s your energy vibration that acts like a magnet.

Let’s say your energy vibration says that you see yourself as a victim. It’s not victims that you will attract to yourself, but bullies or circumstances that will confirm to you that you are a victim.

Once you change your core belief about being a victim, you will no longer attract these types of circumstances. Actually, that’s not true in my experience. The universe will test you just to make sure that you really don’t want to be victim. After you say no a few times and you’re pretty adamant about it, the universe will stop sending you situations that allow you to choose victim mentality.

In all of these cases, whether it be karmic, spiritual lessons, or law of attraction, the possibility of change lies within you. When you see the pattern, when you are self-aware, then you can make changes to your inner world. Changing your inner world is the first step in changing your external world, including your relationships.

I hope you enjoyed this article! If so, please share:

Selina Khan, Toronto Psychic Medium and Reiki Master
About the Author: Selina Khan

I'm a Psychic Medium and Reiki Master serving Toronto, Oakville, and worldwide. I help spiritual seekers & open-minded people get clarity, find meaning, and develop their own intuitive abilities so they can live up to their true spiritual potential and life purpose.

Looking for some help in your spiritual development? Selina offers Intuition and Spiritual Development Workshops, as well as one-on-one Spiritual Mentoring.

  • Ola April 23, 2012, 8:52 am

    why do good people die and horrible one for that matter? i belief we can connect with our love ones that has passed, and i belif life after death, do they forget us once they passed?
    is it normal to want to communicate with someone that as passed?

  • admin April 24, 2012, 3:50 am

    Thanks for your comment. It is very hard to accept that people who are known for their goodness sometimes pass in ways that are not peaceful. I don’t have an answer to why that happens. All I know is there is a Divine plan for every single person on this earth and I trust that God knows why. We are never forgotten by those that cross over. Some people want to communicate with them after they are gone to make sure they are okay and to know they are in a good place, others do not feel the need. Both are normal.

  • Donna February 9, 2016, 2:23 pm

    I have waited my whole life for my other half (soulmate). I met him but he is married. I refuse to be involved with a married man. How can I manage to settle for second best?

    You post Great Articles! Thank you.

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