I hear it many times – people who are at the hospital waiting for someone to die. They are either told to go home by the nursing staff to get rest, or they go home because there has been no change in condition for days.
After they leave, the person passes. It can leave family feeling guilty and questioning why they didn’t get to say goodbye. Was this a random thing? Or was this something that happened for a reason?
It’s heartbreaking to hear. Sometimes I have clients who tell me they wondered for years why their loved one died when they were not there. They may have been waiting by their side for days, knowing that the end was near.
I want to tell you why this might happen. There is a reason for it. And it’s not what you might think. It’s simply that they did not want you there.
At a soul level, or perhaps, even a conscious level, a spirit may choose the moment to leave the body for the last time when they are alone.
Now, I don’t mean that they are not supported and surrounded by their family members in spirit, spirit guides and angels. That’s not the alone I mean.
When someone crosses over, and most often even before that time (hours or days), their spirit team shows up and waits to accompany them on the journey to the other side.
What I mean by being alone is that they did not want the people still living that they care about to see them in their final moments. It’s not out of selfishness, but out of love.
Can you imagine having your last memory of the person taking their last breath? It’s a hard image to get out of your mind.
There is also one client who stands out in my mind where the opposite happened. She was her mother’s caretaker all the way up to the end.
It was the horrible images of suffering right until the end that stayed with her. “Why would she want me to see that?” she asked. She didn’t know if she could forgive her mother for that. It haunted her.
The answer her mom’s spirit gave was that she needed her daughter’s strength to face death, and it was not meant to be a burden. She was the one she trusted, and it was an honour for her to share her last moments with her daughter. It was not done out of drama or neediness, but a request for support through a difficult time.
When we understand that every moment has significance, it is easier to put aside the guilt and anger and know that whatever happens at the moment of death is not a mistake.